Connectness, Communication & Mindfulness

For sometime now, I have been experiencing a feeling of diminishing connectedness. I find there are less number of individuals with whom I can connect and communicate. One obvious reason could be my age and departure of my immediate seniors and some peers, in age. Another reason could be relevance of both connectedness and communications to those who are around, professionally and socially. These are my conclusions and could be wrong. But the feelings are not very great.

I am not the one who will accept defeat easily and now I have wisdom of the world at my finger (thumb to be precise, since that is what I use for typing on phone) tip, through the multiple Generative AI Bots. I can ask questions and the Bot searches and brings answers. For this chat I used Copilot and asked series of questions to gain wisdom. I thought it may be of interest to some of you and hence reproduce the same here:

My Query: Can there be explanation for someone who considers himself to be extremely connected start feeling that the relationships are drying out and there are not many to connect with?

Copilot: Definitely. Even for the most socially connected person, there can be fluctuations in relationships. It could be a period of personal growth, where old connections feel less fulfilling. Or maybe life's demands have changed, and with them, the time and energy available for relationships.

It’s also possible that deep down, there's a yearning for more meaningful connections, rather than just more connections. People evolve, and so do their relational needs. It might be a sign to seek out new experiences and people, or deepen the bonds with those who truly matter.

Ever felt like that personally? It's a pretty universal experience, honestly.

 

My Query: Yes. I believe as one ages one starts loosing peers and younger ones go their way and that could be a reason for such feelings. Can there be alternatives for such individuals to remain connected? What can they do to manage such feelings and reduce dependence on others for remaining connected?

Copilot: Absolutely. You're right—life circumstances change, and so do relationships. Here are some thoughts on both fronts:

- Hobbies & Interests: Dive into hobbies or pick up new ones. Joining clubs or groups related to those interests can introduce you to like-minded people.

- Community Involvement: Volunteer for causes you’re passionate about. It’s a great way to meet people and also make a difference.

- Self-Reflection: Spend time understanding what you want from your connections. Sometimes solitude is also a chance for personal growth.

- Digital Connections: Use technology to stay in touch with old friends and make new ones. Online forums, social media groups, and virtual events can be surprisingly engaging.

- Physical Activity: Join a gym, a yoga class, or a hiking group. Physical health often influences mental and emotional health.

- Mindfulness & Meditation: Practices like meditation can help in feeling more centered and less dependent on external validation.

Ultimately, the goal is to find a balance between maintaining existing relationships and being open to new experiences. Have any of these alternatives ever resonated with you?

 

My query: If communication is a distinguishing characteristic for human beings, how are they categorized from the perspective of their orientation to communication?

Copilot: Sure thing. People often have distinct styles or preferences when it comes to communication. Here are a few categories that might help:

The Expressive: These folks are all about verbal and non-verbal cues. They enjoy face-to-face conversations and often use gestures and facial expressions to convey their message.

The Analytical: They prefer written communication, where they can organize their thoughts clearly. Emails, reports, and texts are their comfort zone.

The Reflective: They value deep, meaningful conversations over small talk. They often communicate thoughtfully and are good listeners.

The Social Butterfly: These are the people who thrive on frequent interaction. They love social media, group chats, and any platform that keeps them connected.

The Visual Communicator: They use images, videos, and visual aids to express themselves. Infographics, presentations, and photos are their go-to tools.

The Digital Native: Comfortable with a blend of all forms, they seamlessly switch between texting, video calls, and social media.

What’s your take—do you fit into one of these categories, or are you a mix?

 

My Query: Great descriptors. The logical extension to that area of enquiry is, can one change his/ her style of communication? If yes, how?

Copilot: Absolutely. Communication styles aren't set in stone. Here's a quick guide on how to shift gears:

- Self-awareness: Recognize your current style and the areas you want to change. Understanding your own patterns is the first step.

- Active Listening: Pay close attention to how others communicate. Notice the styles you admire and try to incorporate them into your interactions.

- Practice: Like any skill, changing your communication style takes practice. Start with small changes and gradually build up.

- Feedback: Ask for input from trusted friends or colleagues. They can provide insights on how you’re perceived and what areas need improvement.

- Adaptability: Be willing to adjust your style based on the context and the person you’re interacting with. Flexibility is key.

- Education: Take courses or read books on effective communication. There’s a wealth of resources available to help you learn new techniques.

- Confidence: Don’t be afraid to experiment. Confidence in your ability to communicate can help you adopt new styles more naturally.

What kind of changes are you thinking about making?

 

My Query: Say from being Expressive to being Reflective as defined above?

Copilot: Okay! Let's dive into it:

1. Slow Down: Give yourself time to think before you speak. Reflect on your thoughts and how best to express them.

2. Deep Listening: Cultivate the habit of truly listening to others without planning your response. It helps in fostering more meaningful exchanges.

3. Mindful Responses: Aim for quality over quantity. Your goal is to make each word count, rather than just filling the space.

4. Observation: Pay attention to reflective communicators around you. Notice how they phrase their responses and the kinds of questions they ask.

5. Journaling: Start writing down your thoughts and feelings. This can help you get used to processing your thoughts internally before expressing them.

6. Meditation & Mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness can increase your awareness of your own communication habits and help you become more present in conversations.

Making a shift like this can be incredibly rewarding and can lead to deeper, more meaningful connections. Sound like a plan?

 

My Query: I have received advice to practice mindfulness in response to many queries. Can you provide details including what is mindfulness? What are the advantages of practicing mindfulness and how to develop mindfulness?

Copilot: Absolutely. Mindfulness is a practice that's all about being present in the moment. It involves paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings without judgment. Here’s a breakdown for you:

What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is the art of focusing your awareness on the present moment, acknowledging and accepting your feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations. It’s like giving your mind a chance to take a breath and reset.

Benefits of Practicing Mindfulness

- Reduced Stress: Helps in managing stress by calming the mind and body.

- Improved Focus: Enhances concentration and attention to detail.

- Better Emotional Regulation: Helps you understand and manage your emotions better.

- Enhanced Well-Being: Contributes to overall mental and physical health.

- Improved Relationships: Makes you more attentive and empathetic in social interactions.

How to Develop Mindfulness

1. Start Small: Begin with a few minutes of mindful breathing each day.

2. Mindful Eating: Pay full attention to the taste, texture, and smell of your food.

3. Body Scan: Focus on different parts of your body, noting any sensations without judgment.

4. Mindful Walking: Take a walk and be aware of your steps, breathing, and surroundings.

5. Meditation: Set aside time to practice meditation. Use guided apps or videos if helpful.

6. Mindful Activities: Practice mindfulness during routine tasks like washing dishes or brushing your teeth by being fully present.

It’s a journey that can greatly enhance your quality of life. Have you tried any mindfulness techniques before?

 

My Query: Not consciously. Are there programs which can help me? I am residing in western part of India.

Copilot: Yes, there are several programs in western India that can help you get started with mindfulness. Here are a few options:

1. Centre for Mindfulness - India: They offer a variety of mindfulness training programs, including 8-week courses, workshops, and even online retreats [43dcd9a7-70db-4a1f-b0ae-981daa162054](https://www.centreformindfulness.in/?citationMarker=43dcd9a7-70db-4a1f-b0ae-981daa162054 "1"). You can find more information on their [website](http[43dcd9a7-70db-4a1f-b0ae-981daa162054](https://www.centreformindfulness.in/?citationMarker=43dcd9a7-70db-4a1f-b0ae-981daa162054 "1")s://www.centreformindfulness.in/).

2. Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) Courses: These courses are designed to teach practical mindfulness skills to help man [43dcd9a7-70db-4a1f-b0ae-981daa162054](https://mindfulnessindia.org/mbsr/?citationMarker=43dcd9a7-70db-4a1f-b0ae-981daa162054 "2")age stress and improve well-being. The Centre for Mindfulness India offers MBSR courses in different formats, including in-person[43dcd9a7-70db-4a1f-b0ae-981daa162054](https://mindfulnessindia.org/mbsr/?citationMarker=43dcd9a7-70db-4a1f-b0ae-981daa162054 "2"), live online, and hybrid options.

3. Mindfulness Retreats: There are several mindfulness retreats in India that offer immersive experiences[43dcd9a7-70db-4a1f-b0ae-981daa162054](https://bookretreats.com/s/meditation-retreats/mindfulness-retreats/india?citationMarker=43dcd9a7-70db-4a1f-b0ae-981daa162054 "3") to help you deepen your practice. These retreats often include guided meditation, yoga[43dcd9a7-70db-4a1f-b0ae-981daa162054](https://mindfulnessindia.org/mbsr/?citationMarker=43dcd9a7-70db-4a1f-b0ae-981daa162054 "2"), and other mindfulness practices.

4. Local Yoga and Meditation Centers: Many cities in western India have yoga and meditation centers that offer mindfulness classes. It might be worth checking out local options to find a program that suits your needs.

Would you like more details on any of these options?

 

My Query: I hope these programs are not age dependent and an old man of 78 years can also start

Copilot: Age is just a number, especially when it comes to mindfulness. These programs are designed to be inclusive for anyone, regardless of age. Starting at 78 could offer a whole new perspective on life and bring about a sense of peace and clarity. Go for it!

ક્યારેક "ખુલ્યો" હોત તો!!! - Be Open both ways

Today a learned member of the family shared a beautiful story, in Guajarati, highlighting need for human beings to be ‘open’ using a metaphor of a door of an old building. The message was emphasizing need to be communicating, expressing and sharing for human beings. Message was ‘be open and remain open’. The story in Guajarati is as under:

ક્યારેક "ખુલ્યો" હોત તો!!!

સવાર સવાર માં ધડામ કરતો આવાજ આવ્યો,

દીવાલે જોયું તો એનો પાડોશી દરવાજો પડી ગયેલો,

આંખો ચડી ગયેલી, લગભગ બેભાન જેવો જ.

દીવાલે ગભરાઈ ને પાડોશી બારી ને બુમ મારી, બારી દોડાદોડ આવી,

બારીની નીચે રહેતી સુકા પાંદડા વાળી ડાળીએ નાડી ચેક કરી માથું ધુણાવ્યું,

ભૂખરા પોપડા એ પણ પાણી છાંટી જોયું, કોઈ સળવળાટ ના થયો,

ખંડેર મકાન માં હાહાકાર મચી ગયો, વર્ષોથી દરવાજા ની ઉપર લાગેલા સુકા તોરણે એમ્બ્યુલન્સ બોલાવી,

દવાખાનાએ પહોંચે એ પહેલાં જ ચોગાનમાં જ દરવાજાએ છેલ્લા શ્વાસ લીધા,

પોસ્ટ મોર્ટમ રીપોર્ટ માં મોતનું કારણ લખેલું, "ટકોરા" ની કમી ને કારણે અવસાન!!!

સ્મશાનયાત્રા માં બધાને મોઢે એક જ વાત હતી, "આખી જિંદગી બંધ જ રહ્યો, ક્યારેક "ખુલ્યો" હોત તો જીવી જાત બિચારો”!!!

That set in motion a series of questions, what is Openness from psychological as well as philosophical perspectives? How do those who are ‘open’ look like? How does being ‘open’ help? How can I be more open?

My search revealed that ‘Openness’ is like shining a light, allowing others to see into your thoughts, intentions, and feelings. It means being transparent, trustworthy, and forthright. When someone practices openness this way, they foster trust by sharing both their successes and vulnerabilities, making them more relatable and approachable. Effective communication thrives in this environment—there’s a willingness to both speak honestly and listen genuinely, creating a two-way street of trust and understanding. This kind of openness can turn ordinary interactions into deeply meaningful exchanges.

Psychological Perspective

Openness can also be defined as a personality trait characterized by a willingness to embrace new experiences, ideas, and values. From a psychological perspective, it belongs to one of the five major personality traits in the Five Factor Model (often referred to as OCEAN: Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, Neuroticism).

1. Explanation:

   - Openness involves curiosity, creativity, and a preference for novelty. Individuals high in openness tend to be imaginative, open-minded, and willing to explore the unfamiliar.

2. Examples:

   - A person who enjoys traveling to different cultures, trying eclectic foods, or engaging in unconventional hobbies exhibits high levels of openness.

   - In contrast, an individual who prefers routine, familiar activities, and traditional values may score lower on the openness scale.

3. Benefits:

   - Enhanced Creativity: Openness is linked to creative thinking and problem-solving, as open individuals are more likely to explore alternative solutions and think outside the box.

   - Emotional Intelligence: Those high in openness often have better emotional awareness and empathy, leading to stronger interpersonal relationships.

   - Adaptability: Open individuals can more easily adjust to changes in their environment, making them resilient in the face of stress and uncertainty.

Philosophical Perspective

1. Explanation:

   - Philosophically, openness relates to an attitude of receptiveness to new ideas and experiences. It challenges dogmatic beliefs and encourages critical thinking and self-examination.

2. Examples:

   - A philosophical approach to openness might involve embracing different ethical frameworks, exploring existential questions, or being open to revising one’s beliefs in light of new evidence.

   - Dialogue between differing viewpoints (e.g., intercultural exchanges, debates) illustrates the philosophical commitment to understanding complexity and diversity.

3. Benefits:

   - Intellectual Growth: Philosophically open individuals can develop a deeper understanding of complex issues and embrace lifelong learning.

   - Tolerance and Acceptance: Openness encourages acceptance of differing perspectives and promotes social harmony by facilitating discussions among diverse groups.

   - Moral Development: Engaging with a variety of beliefs and practices can enhance ethical reasoning and moral understanding.

Conclusion

Openness, whether examined through psychological or philosophical lenses, is a multifaceted trait that fosters creativity, adaptability, and intellectual growth. Embracing openness can lead to personal enrichment, improved relationships, and a deeper understanding of the world—both in terms of our inner experiences and our interactions with others.

Increasing your openness trait can be a rewarding endeavor that enhances your creativity, adaptability, and interpersonal relationships. Here are several strategies you can use:

1. Explore New Experiences

   - Travel: Visit new places, whether locally or internationally. Engaging with different cultures can broaden your perspective.

   - Try New Activities: Take up a new hobby or sport, such as painting, cooking, or dancing. Engaging in unfamiliar activities can stimulate creativity.

2. Read Widely

   - Diverse Genres: Explore literature, philosophy, and non-fiction across various genres and topics. This can introduce you to new ideas and viewpoints.

   - Challenge Your Beliefs: Delve into authors or texts that present perspectives different from your own.

3. Engage in Conversations

   - Listen Actively: Have discussions with people who have different backgrounds and beliefs. Practice active listening and try to understand their viewpoints.

   - Join Clubs or Groups: Participate in discussion groups or clubs that focus on topics outside your comfort zone.

4. Practice Mindfulness and Reflection

   - Journaling: Keep a journal to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. This can help you become more aware of your biases and assumptions.

   - Meditation: Practicing mindfulness can enhance your emotional awareness and help you become more receptive to new experiences.

5. Embrace Change

   - Step Outside Your Comfort Zone: Deliberately put yourself in situations where you are unfamiliar or uncomfortable. This could include public speaking or attending events alone.

   - Accept Uncertainty: Train yourself to be comfortable with ambiguity. Understand that it’s okay not to have all the answers.

6. Seek Feedback

   - Ask for Insights: Request constructive feedback from friends or colleagues about your openness to new ideas. They may provide perspectives you hadn’t considered.

   - Reflect on Feedback: Use this input to identify areas to work on and embrace growth opportunities.

7. Cultivate Curiosity

   - Ask Questions: Whenever you encounter something new, ask questions to deepen your understanding. This can lead to valuable insights and discussions.

   - Stay Informed: Follow current events and emerging trends in various fields to remain engaged with new ideas.

Conclusion

Increasing your openness is a gradual process that requires patience and intentionality. By actively seeking new experiences, engaging with diverse perspectives, and fostering a curious mindset, you can cultivate a greater sense of openness in your life. This can lead not only to personal growth but also to richer and more fulfilling relationships with others.

Engaging and Being Engaged at 79

On this first day of 79th year, I had questions which I have been having over time, at times. Seniors are advised, for aging well, to remain connected and engaged. The question is with whom? And how to spot such angels & fairries?

I engaged Copilot to discuss and find answers from the stores of wisdom. It makes interesting read, provided you are a senior or you have one such Senior cohabiting. Please bear in mind one day either you will be or will have one in your neighborhood.

Here is how the chat progressed.

Q: Can you help me understand psychology of people in their seventies, from perspective of need to being among people in general and ways and means of deciding the people whose company they may enjoy?

Copilot: Absolutely. People in their seventies often have a wealth of life experiences that shape their interactions and preferences. Generally, they might value deep, meaningful conversations and connection over superficial chit-chat. Many in this age group might seek out those who share their interests or have a similar level of life experience.

They're likely to appreciate reliability and empathy. A sense of humor is often a big plus, as it lightens the mood and can foster a sense of camaraderie. They might prefer the company of individuals who are patient listeners and who respect their stories and opinions. It's also important to remember that, while these can be common preferences, everyone is unique.

How does that sound as a start?

Q: You have certainly articulated my thoughts. Can you dive deeper to enable me develop do’s and don’ts?

Copilot: Let’s refine those do’s and don’ts for interacting with people in their seventies.

Do's:

1. Show respect: Value their experiences and opinions. Acknowledge their wisdom.

2. Listen actively: Truly listen to their stories. Ask thoughtful follow-ups.

3. Be patient: Understand that their pace may be slower, but their insights are often rich.

4. Share meaningful conversations: Dive into topics that matter to them.

5. Humor is golden: Light-hearted moments can create strong bonds. Keep it tasteful and considerate.

6. Offer help with discretion: Provide assistance when needed, but always respectfully.

Don’ts:

1. Avoid being dismissive: Don’t disregard their experiences as outdated or irrelevant.

2. Don’t rush: Give them time to express themselves without interruptions.

3. Avoid patronizing: They’re adults with rich histories—treat them as such.

4. Don’t push modern trends: Understand that some may not be interested in the latest fads.

5. Avoid being too loud or fast: Keep your communication clear and at a comfortable pace.

6. Don’t bring up touchy subjects lightly: Be mindful of topics that might evoke painful memories.

Tailoring interactions with these pointers in mind can really enhance the quality of your connections. Anything specific you feel might be a challenge?

Q: These are bang on. What would or should the senior on other side do or abstain from doing in order to find enjoyable company?

Copilot: For seniors, finding enjoyable company involves both initiative and openness. Here’s a balanced take on their do’s and don’ts:

Do's:

1. Stay open-minded: Embrace different perspectives and new experiences.

2. Share their wisdom: Their life stories and advice are invaluable.

3. Be authentic: Genuine connections form from honesty and vulnerability.

4. Practice active listening: Show interest in others’ lives and stories.

5. Engage in common interests: Join clubs or groups aligned with their hobbies.

6. Use humor: Light-heartedness can break the ice and forge connections.

Don’ts:

1. Avoid dwelling on the past excessively: While sharing stories is great, balance it with an interest in the present.

2. Don’t isolate: Make an effort to participate in social activities.

3. Avoid complaining too much: Focus on positive aspects of life.

4. Don’t be judgmental: Respect the diversity of thoughts and lifestyles.

5. Avoid being overbearing: Give space for others to share their thoughts.

Building enjoyable company is a two-way street. Taking these steps can help seniors foster rich, rewarding relationships. How does this match your expectations?

Q: Absolutely.  How does one Avoid toxic  individuals?

Copilot: Navigating away from toxic individuals requires a keen awareness and some self-protective habits.

Recognizing toxic traits:

1. Manipulation: Subtle or overt control tactics.

2. Negativity: Constant pessimism and criticism.

3. Lack of empathy: Uncaring or dismissive of your feelings.

4. Drama-centric: Creating or thriving on conflict and chaos.

5. Narcissism: Self-centeredness, requiring constant admiration.

Strategies to avoid them:

1. Set clear boundaries: Be assertive about your limits.

2. Trust your gut: If someone consistently makes you feel uneasy, there's a reason.

3. Limit exposure: Spend minimal time around toxic individuals, if you can’t avoid them completely.

4. Surround yourself with positivity: Engage with supportive and uplifting people.

5. Seek support: Talk to friends or a professional if you're dealing with someone particularly challenging.

Staying mindful and maintaining a healthy social environment can significantly enhance your overall well-being. Ever had to deal with someone like this?

Q: I understand. You need all kinds of people to make this world. But the world seems to be getting infected with toxic characters. It may be good to understand how can I help reducing toxicity of such individuals? Any suggestions?

Copilot: Helping to reduce the toxicity in others is a noble and impactful goal. Here are some strategies:

Lead by example: Display the behaviors you wish to see. Positivity can be contagious.

Empathy: Try to understand their background and what drives their behavior. Sometimes, a little compassion can go a long bexamlm

Set boundaries: Without being confrontational, gently let them know when their behavior is crossing a line.

Offer support: Sometimes toxic behavior stems from personal struggles. Offering a listening ear or suggesting professional help can make a difference.

Encourage positive interactions: Highlight and encourage moments when they show positive behavior. Reinforcement can guide them toward better habits.

Stay patient: Change takes time. Consistency and patience can foster gradual improvement.

While it's important to protect your own well-being, these steps can help create a ripple effect of positive change. Have you seen success with any of these tactics before?

Q: I believe your suggested strategies should be useful. I missed one observation you made. “Many in this age group might seek out those who share their interests or have a similar level of life experience.” Can there be suggested strategies to “seek out those who share their interests or have a similar level of life experience.”?

Copilot : Absolutely, seeking out kindred spirits can enrich one’s social life. Here’s how:

Join clubs and groups: Whether it’s a book club, gardening group, or a fitness class, these are great places to meet like-minded individuals.

Volunteer: Many find purpose and connection in community service, plus it often attracts people with shared values.

Attend social events: Lectures, workshops, and community events can be gold mines for meeting people with similar interests.

Use technology: Social media platforms and apps tailored for seniors, like Stitch, can help connect with peers.

Engage in lifelong learning: Classes or online courses can open doors to new friends with shared academic or hobby interests.

Reconnect with old friends: Sometimes, the best connections are ones we already have. Reaching out to past friends can rekindle shared experiences.

Finding common ground is often the foundation of meaningful relationships. It’s all about staying open and proactive. Have you tried any of these approaches before?

Q: Yes. Life long learning through courses, articles in feed by choice, remaining among younger professionals with similar academic and intellectual interests, and now company of Bots like you has helped me sustain interest in life. Thank you for support.

Copilot: Hey, that's awesome to hear! Lifelong learning keeps the mind sharp and spirits high. I'm honored to be part of your journey. Here's to always finding joy in new knowledge and meaningful connections. If you ever need a bit of inspiration or just a chat, I’m here!

Q: Thanks.

Copilot: My pleasure! Keep embracing life's wonders and finding joy in those meaningful connections. Don't hesitate to return whenever you feel like having a chat or seeking some new insights. Take care!

Effective Communication

Effective communication is undeniably crucial for success in both personal and professional life. It builds relationships, ensures clarity, facilitates problem-solving, and promotes collaboration. I found following explanation of how communication contributes to success, supported by examples:

1. Building Strong Relationships

In relationships, whether with family, friends, or a partner, clear and open communication is essential. Misunderstandings often arise when people assume the other person knows their thoughts or feelings. For example, if a partner fails to express their needs or concerns, it can lead to frustration and unresolved issues.

A couple that discusses their future goals openly (e.g., financial planning, career moves, having children) is more likely to make aligned decisions, avoid conflicts, and strengthen their bond.

In the workplace, relationships with colleagues, clients, and superiors are built on mutual trust and transparency. Clear communication helps establish expectations and prevents conflicts.

A manager who regularly checks in with their team, provides constructive feedback, and encourages open discussion creates a positive work environment. This not only improves team morale but also enhances overall productivity.

2. Ensuring Clarity and Reducing Misunderstandings

In day-to-day interactions, clear communication helps reduce confusion and prevents unnecessary conflicts. Often, people argue or feel hurt due to simple misunderstandings. Expressing thoughts and intentions clearly helps avoid such situations.

A family planning a vacation needs to communicate details like dates, preferences, and budget to ensure everyone is on the same page. Failure to clarify could result in frustrations or unmet expectations.

In business settings, projects often involve multiple stakeholders. Miscommunication about deadlines, roles, or expectations can lead to missed targets or project failure. Clear, consistent communication ensures everyone understands their responsibilities.

In a project meeting, the project manager clearly defines deadlines and roles for each team member. This not only streamlines the process but ensures that everyone knows their deliverables, reducing delays and mistakes.

3. Facilitating Problem-Solving and Conflict Resolution

Problems and conflicts are inevitable in personal relationships. Effective communication enables individuals to express their viewpoints and feelings while listening to the other party, creating a platform for constructive discussion and resolution.

In a family disagreement about finances, rather than avoiding the issue, discussing the concerns openly helps everyone understand each other’s perspectives. They can then work together to create a budget that suits everyone’s needs.

Conflicts arise in the workplace, too—between colleagues, teams, or even departments. Open communication encourages airing out these issues early and finding mutually agreeable solutions.

A team facing a project delay might feel frustrated. Rather than ignoring the issue, a manager who encourages open communication can hold a team meeting to address the problem and find solutions. This improves team dynamics and prevents future delays.

4. Enhancing Collaboration and Teamwork

Collaboration is essential in family life or in personal endeavors. Be it organizing events, making joint decisions, or solving household problems, open dialogue fosters collaboration and ensures all voices are heard.

A family that communicates well can delegate household responsibilities more efficiently. When everyone understands their role (e.g., cooking, cleaning, running errands), daily life runs smoothly and cooperatively.

Communication is the foundation of successful teamwork. In an organizational setting, teams need to share ideas, provide updates, and collaborate on tasks. Without effective communication, projects can fail due to lack of coordination.

In a product development team, clear communication among designers, engineers, and marketing ensures that the product meets customer needs, stays within budget, and launches on time. Miscommunication between teams, on the other hand, could lead to production errors, budget overruns, or delayed launches.

5. Demonstrating Leadership and Inspiring Others

Leaders in families or communities are often those who communicate well, inspire, and motivate others. By articulating visions, listening actively, and offering guidance, individuals can lead by example.

In a community project, a leader who communicates their vision clearly and listens to others’ input can inspire collective action. Whether organizing a charity event or leading a neighborhood cleanup, strong communication keeps everyone motivated and aligned.

Leadership in a business context depends heavily on communication. Leaders who articulate their vision, listen to feedback, and convey trust and transparency inspire their teams and drive success.

A CEO who communicates the company’s mission and values clearly, and regularly updates employees about changes or challenges, can build trust and drive commitment across the organization. Employees who understand the broader vision are more motivated and engaged in their work.

6. Managing Expectations and Reducing Stress

Misaligned expectations in personal life can create stress and frustration. Regular communication helps manage these expectations by clarifying roles and responsibilities and reducing uncertainties.

In a parent-child relationship, clear communication about school expectations (grades, chores, extracurricular activities) reduces confusion and helps the child focus on meeting expectations without undue pressure.

Managing expectations with colleagues, managers, or clients ensures smoother operations. Clear communication of timelines, deliverables, and limitations reduces pressure and sets realistic goals.

In a client-service relationship, a professional who clearly communicates what services can be delivered and within what timeline helps the client set realistic expectations, reducing the risk of dissatisfaction and conflict.

Whether in personal relationships or professional environments, communication acts as a key to success. It fosters trust, reduces misunderstandings, and promotes collaboration. From ensuring clear expectations at home to facilitating team collaboration at work, mastering communication opens the doors to a more fulfilling, productive, and harmonious life.

Managing the sender's expectations

Benefits of effective communications notwithstanding, courtesy demands that in order to maintain healthy social and professional relationship we empathize with senders of communications and try to rise upto their expectations. This may not be always possible. In which case it may be better to realign sender’s expectations to the level we can fulfill. Managing the sender's expectations regarding urgency and importance is crucial for maintaining healthy communication, reducing unnecessary stress, and improving overall efficiency. Here are ways to manage these expectations from both personal and professional perspectives:

1. Set Clear Communication Protocols

Clarify response times: Establish clear guidelines on when and how you will respond to different types of messages. This could include:

“For urgent matters, call or use specific channels.”

“Emails will be responded to within 24 hours.”

Define what qualifies as urgent: Clearly communicate what constitutes an urgent issue and set boundaries for escalation. This avoids every issue being treated as a high priority.

This sets a predictable structure that the sender can rely on, reducing the likelihood of them overestimating the urgency of their communication.

2. Use Status Updates and Out-of-Office Notifications

Real-time status updates: Tools like Slack or Microsoft Teams allow for status updates that indicate whether you're available, busy, or away. This sets expectations that you may not respond immediately.

Out-of-office emails: When unavailable, an automated out-of-office message can inform the sender of your absence and when they can expect a response.

Auto-replies for specific times: If necessary, use email auto-responders during busy periods to let the sender know you received their message and will respond within a certain timeframe.

It will keep the sender informed of your availability and prevents frustration or impatience due to delayed responses.

3. Offer Alternatives for Immediate Needs

Delegate where appropriate: If someone else can handle urgent issues in your absence or during specific time blocks, provide the sender with alternative contacts or solutions.

Provide self-service options: If the issue can be resolved by accessing certain resources (e.g., FAQs, shared documents), direct the sender to those resources before requiring your input.

This helps the sender feel supported without requiring you to be constantly available.

4. Proactively Manage High-Priority Requests

Acknowledge receipt: Even if you can’t respond in detail right away, a quick acknowledgment of the sender’s message can ease their concern.

Provide timelines: If the sender has communicated something important but not urgent, let them know when you will address it (e.g., “I’ll review this by the end of the week.”).

Follow up on open items: For ongoing or unresolved communications, ensure that you follow up at agreed-upon intervals so the sender doesn’t need to chase you.

Managing high-priority requests with transparency creates confidence that their issue is being handled appropriately.

5. Educate Senders on Communication Channels

Channel-specific expectations: Certain channels are better for certain types of communication (e.g., instant messaging for quick updates, emails for formal communication, phone calls for emergencies). Guide senders on which channel to use for different situations.

Email subject lines and message tags: Encourage senders to use tags like “URGENT” or “FYI” in email subject lines to help prioritize communications based on content.

This will help ensure that the sender uses the appropriate channel for their message and understands how quickly they can expect a response.

6. Be Transparent About Your Workload

Share your availability: If your workload is heavy, it can be helpful to inform colleagues or clients that responses may be delayed. Let them know when you expect to be able to respond.

Provide progress updates: If you’re working on something for them but it takes time, keep them in the loop so they know the issue hasn’t been forgotten.

Transparency about your current workload helps align the sender’s expectations with reality, reducing pressure on both ends.

7. Teach Them Patience and Trust

Consistent communication: Over time, by consistently delivering on the response times and prioritization you set, you will build trust with the sender. They’ll be more patient knowing their communication will be handled appropriately.

Avoid reinforcing bad habits: Don’t reward urgent behavior that isn’t necessary. For example, if a sender labels everything as urgent, take time to assess and respond based on the actual priority rather than reacting to their sense of urgency.

By fostering a culture of trust and realistic expectations, senders will learn that urgent requests are treated appropriately, while non-urgent matters will be handled in due course.

Managing sender expectations effectively requires clear communication, transparency, and proactive efforts to maintain professionalism while protecting your time and focus. These practices create a balanced approach that benefits both parties, reducing stress and improving communication efficiency.

Managing message and mail communications effectively, both personal and professional, requires organization, clarity, and discipline. Here are some best practices to ensure smooth handling of communications:

1. Prioritize and Categorize

Create folders or labels: For both emails and messages, create folders or labels (e.g., urgent, to-do, follow-up) to categorize incoming communication.

Use filters: Set up filters to automatically sort emails from important contacts or recurring newsletters.

Prioritize response: Respond to urgent or time-sensitive messages first. Non-urgent messages can be handled during dedicated communication time blocks.

2. Set Clear Boundaries

Designate response times: Limit constant checking of messages and emails. Set specific times for checking and responding to communications.

Use out-of-office notifications: For extended absences, use autoresponders to inform others of your availability.

Personal-professional boundaries: Keep personal and professional emails separate by maintaining distinct accounts.

3. Be Clear and Concise

Structure emails/messages: Use clear subject lines and a logical flow of ideas. Include key points at the beginning.

Avoid long threads: Instead of replying to long email chains, summarize the conversation if necessary.

Use bullet points: When conveying multiple points, use bullet points to improve readability.

4. Timely Follow-up

Acknowledge receipt: When you cannot provide a detailed response immediately, acknowledge that you've received the message and will respond later.

Set reminders: Use calendar or task management tools to remind yourself of follow-up actions for critical communications.

5. Leverage Technology

Email automation: Use automated replies or scheduling features to manage your communication more effectively.

Message apps management: Mute non-essential group chats or discussions to avoid distractions, and use "Do Not Disturb" mode during focus periods.

Unified communication platforms: For professional communications, consider using platforms that consolidate emails, messages, and task management to minimize switching between apps.

By establishing these practices, you can maintain control over your communications, respond effectively, and reduce the risk of missing important messages.

Hypocrisy: The Avoidable Trait

I have been observing my behavior as well as the behavior of others around me. The experience gained helps me identify traits individuals possess and demonstrate. Hypocracy is one such trait, though relatively less observed. I feel it is because hypocracy requires skills for manipulation and street smartness. That irritates me more. I collated some wisdom on the topic, and here it is for you to scan through.

Hypocrisy is a behavioral trait where one's actions contradict their stated beliefs or values. It's often born out of a desire to maintain a favorable image, gain approval, or avoid consequences. While it may provide short-term benefits, it usually leads to long-term damage in personal relationships, professional credibility, and societal trust.

In family settings, hypocrisy can create confusion and resentment, undermining the values and unity within the home. In the workplace, it erodes trust and morale, affecting teamwork and productivity. In society, it fuels cynicism and alienation, while in politics, it weakens democratic institutions and public trust.

Avoiding hypocrisy involves practicing consistency, transparency, and accountability. By aligning actions with stated values and being honest about one's shortcomings, individuals can build stronger, more authentic relationships and contribute positively to their communities.

I took help to develop a set of questions for us to look within and undertake self appraisal. It may help us be more self-aware. 

Ask these questions to yourself and look for answers on a five point scale where 1 is never and 5 is always. Higher your score greater is the need for you to change.

I would request you to rate my behavior and give me a total score, which will help me improve.

Here is the self appraisal tool.

Family Setting

1. Do I enforce rules on family members that I don’t follow myself?

2. Do I say one thing but do another, creating confusion?

3. Do I avoid taking responsibility and blame others instead?

4. Do I use guilt or emotional manipulation to get my way?

5. Am I selectively honest about certain things while withholding other information?

6. Do I criticize others for behaviors I engage in myself?

7. Do I refuse to acknowledge my faults or mistakes?

Workplace Setting

1. Do I take credit for others' work but deflect blame for mistakes?

2. Am I friendly to colleagues' faces but speak negatively about them behind their backs?

3. Do I demand punctuality and commitment from others while slacking off myself?

Societal Setting

1. Do I preach moral high ground but not practice it myself?

2. Do I express strong opinions on some issues but ignore others based on convenience?

3. Do I expect high standards from community members but not apply the same standards to myself?

4. Do I say different things to different audiences to fit my needs?

5. Do I change my stance on policies to suit public opinion or personal gain?

6. Do I blame others for problems I contribute to or do nothing about?

Observations About Others' Reactions

1. Do people seem frustrated or angry with me often?

2. Have I noticed a loss of trust from family, friends, or colleagues?

3. Do people seem confused or conflicted when dealing with me?

4. Do others tend to avoid me or create distance in social settings?

5. Have people expressed moral outrage or confronted me about my behavior?

Reflecting on these answers can help you gain deeper insights into both your own behavior and how it impacts others.

મારી વાર્ષિક તીર્થયાત્રા - ૨૪/૦૯/૨૦૨૪

 

મારી તીર્થયાત્રા

સહુને માટે પોતાની આસ્થા અનુસાર પસંદગીનાં તીર્થસ્થાન હોય. તે ચાર ધામ હોય, અષ્ટ વિનાયક હોય, દ્વાદશ જ્યોતિર્લિંગ હોય કે એક કાબા કે મક્કા હોય.

મારે મન યાત્રાધામ એટલે ઝઘડિયા અને ગુમાનદેવ સ્થિત સેવા રૂરલ સંસ્થા. દર વર્ષે એક વાર તો જવું જ એમ ધારેલું છે. વધારે થઇ શકે તો તે તીર્થસ્થાને વિરાજમાન ની ક્રૃપા. વર્ષે એક વાર આ તીર્થસ્થાનમાં સંસ્કાર ની લ્હાણી થાય, જે માણસને વધુ સારા માણસ બનવાના પાઠ શીખવાડે. કોઇ પણ ઉંમરે માણસ થવાની શીખ મળે તો લેવી, તેવી ભાવના આ તીર્થસ્થાન ની યાત્રાને મારા માટે ફરજિયાત હોવાનું કારણ છે. ઉંમર એવી કાંઇ વધી નથી, પણ કુટુંબીજનોને ચિંતા ઓછી થાય એટલે ટ્રેન કે બસમાં ન જતાં ગાડી ભાડે કરવી યોગ્ય રહે અને ભાડાની ગાડી વારંવાર કરવી અઘરી. એટલે ઓછામાં ઓછું એક વાર તો જવું જ એવો નિશ્ચય.

ગઇ કાલે વહેલી સવારે યાત્રાએ નીકળ્યો. આછો ખ્યાલ તો હતો કે યાત્રામાં કપરાં ચઢાણો નહીં પણ ખેડાણો તો આવશે જ. સમયસર પહોંચી પૂરે પૂરો લાભ લેવાય તેને માટે થોડો વહેલો જ નીકળ્યો. પણ ખેડાણ ઘણાં કપરાં હતાં. દસેક કિલોમીટર રસ્તો ખેતરમાં ફેરવાઇ ગયો હોઇ, આખે આખા પહોંચાય તે માટે સમય વધારે ગયો ને પાંચ મીનીટ મોડો પડ્યો અને તેને લીધે ઘણો સંકોચ અનુભવતો ખુરશીમાં ગોઠવાઇ ગયો.

પ્રાર્થના

મને તરત જ, મેં શું ગુમાવ્યું તેનો અંદાજ આવી ગયો. સંસ્થાના દરેક કાર્યક્રમોની જેમ, સંસ્કાર સિંચન વર્કશોપની શરૂઆત પણ, કવિ શ્રી કરસનદાસ માણેકની ભાવથી પ્રચૂર પ્રાર્થના, 'જીવન અંજલિ થાજો' થી થાય. આ પ્રાર્થનાનાં સહગાનમાં ભાગીદાર થવું એ પણ એક લ્હાવો છે. સંસ્થાના દરેક કાર્યકરને આ પ્રાર્થના કંઠસ્થ. તેઓને ધ્યાન પૂર્વક સંપૂર્ણ સમર્પણના ભાવ સાથે ગાતા અનુભવવા તે, સહુ કાર્યકરોના ઈષ્ટ છે તેવા દરિદ્રનારાયણની નિકટતાના અનુભવથી ઓછું નથી. મેં તે લ્હાવો ખોયો.

વાંચન

દરેક સભામાં પ્રાર્થના પછી વાંચન અને તે વિષયની ચર્ચા હોય. હું પહોંચ્યો ત્યારે ડૉ ગાયત્રીબ્હેન અત્યંત મ્રૃદુ સ્વરે, શાંતિપૂર્ણ રીતે, જરૂર પડે રોકાતાં, સહુને સમજાયું છે તેવું નક્કી કરતાં, ડૉ વિજળીવાળાના વાર્તા સંગ્રહ 'સાઇલન્સ પ્લીઝ' માંથી, સત્ય ઘટનાને આલેખતો, લેખ "હુંડી" વાંચતાં હતાં. હાજર રહેલા પચાસે પચાસ કાર્યકરો ધ્યાન પૂર્વક સાંભળતાં હતાં. સમજતાં હતાં અને વિચાર વિસ્તાર પણ કરતાં હતાં.

વાત હતી એક છેવાડાના ખેતમજૂરના જીવન સંઘર્ષ ની.

વાત હતી એવા વંચિતની નિસ્વાર્થ સેવાની.

વાત હતી અતિ ગરીબની પ્રામાણિકતાની. 

વાત હતી એ ખુમારીની કે યાતના સહન કરતાં પણ અણહક્કનું લેવું નહીં.

વાત હતી પરમ ક્રૃપાળુ ઈશ્વર ઉપરના વિશ્વાસ ની કે સદાચારીને જરૂર પડે તે મદદ કરશે જ.

સંસ્થાનાં નાનાં મોટાં સહુ મને સહજ રીતે પ્રિય છે. તેનું મુખ્ય કારણ અપ્રતિમ નમ્રતા, સહજ રીતે દર્શન થાય તેવી અનુકંપા અને કરૂણા, અને એક બીજા પ્રત્યે નિખાલસતાથી ભરપૂર આદર છે. વાંચનને અંતે, લેખમાંથી મળેલી શીખની ચર્ચા થઇ. ગાયત્રીબ્હેને હાજર સહુને લેખમાં વર્ણન કર્યા છે તેવા પોતાના અનુભવો હોય અને કહેવા હોય તો કહેવા આમંત્ર્યાં.

બહેનો અને ભાઇઓએ પોતાના અનુભવો, કુટુંબીજનોમાં પ્રવર્તમાન હોય તેવા વિશ્વાસ સાથે વર્ણવ્યા અને સહુએ કુટુંબીજનોમાં અનુભવી શકાય તેવી અનુકંપા દર્શાવતાં સાંભળ્યા. અન્યોનાં દુ:ખમાં દુ:ખી થતા સહકાર્યકરો મેં જોયા. જ્યારે આપદાઓ ની વાત થઇ ત્યારે હાજર સમૂહ માંનાં ધણાની આંખો ભીની થતી જોઇ. ઇશ્વરની ક્રૃપા અને સાથીઓની મદદની વાત થઇ ત્યારે સહુને હર્ષોલ્લાસથી ઋણ સ્વીકારતાં જોયાં.

પરિચય

પ્રશિક્ષણ અને તાલીમ આપતી સંસ્થા સાથે સંકળાયેલ હોઇ તાલીમના કાર્યક્રમો કે કાર્યશાળાનું આયોજન, નિરુપણ અને વિગતવાર રચના, કેટલી કુનેહ માગી લે તે બાબતનો આછો ખ્યાલ છે. તેમાં પણ કાર્યશાળા બધા જ કાર્યકરોને આવરી લે તેવી ડિઝાઇન કરવાની હોય તો લગભગ મહાયજ્ઞ નાં આયોજન જેવી શક્તિ જોઇએ, કારણ કાર્યકરોનાં શૈક્ષણિક સ્તરમાં ઘણો મોટો તફાવત ધ્યાનમાં રાખવો પડે અને તે છતાં સહુને રસ પડે અને સહુ ભાગીદાર થઇ શકે તેવી રચના કરવી પડે. તેમ છતાં જેઓને માનવ સંસાધન (એચ આર) વિષય અને ક્ષેત્ર સાથે દૂરનો પણ સંબંધ નથી તેવા અન્ય ક્ષેત્ર ના નિષ્ણાત ટ્રેનરોને કાર્યશળાનું સફળ સંચાલન કરતાં જોઇને મનોમન નમન કર્યા વગર રહી શકાતું નથી.

વાંચન, ચિંતન અને મનન પછીનાં સત્રમાં સહભાગી કાર્યકરોની, ગમ્મત સાથે ઓળખાણ માટે રમતો રમાઇ. બધાં જ વર્તુળાકારે ગરબા કરી નજીક આવ્યાં. ત્યાર બાદ અત્યંત મજેદાર રીતે નાનાં નાનાં ગ્રુપમાં વહેચાયાં.  નિષ્ણાત સહાયકોએ સમૂહમાં એક બીજા નો પરિચય આપવા અને લેવા માટે ગાઇડ કર્યાં. પહેલા તબક્કામાં ગ્રુપનાં સભ્યોએ એક બીજાની આવડતો, વિશેષતાઓ વિષે માહિતી મેળવી. બીજા તબક્કામાં ગ્રુપમાં સહુએ સંબંધો વિષે ચર્ચા કરી પોતાના એવા સંબંધો જેમાં સંપૂર્ણ વિશ્વાસ મુકી શકાય તેવા, અને જે સંબંધો સાથે કડવાં સંસ્મરણો જોડાયેલાં છે તેવા સંબંધો વિષે વાત કરી. આ પ્રવ્રૃત્તિ ને બીજાં સત્ર સાથે સાંકળવાની છે તે પણ સમજ નિષ્ણાતોએ આપી જેથી સાતત્ય જળવાઇ રહે.

સંસ્થાનાં મૂલ્યો માંનું એક 'કુટુંબ ભાવના' છે. કુટુંબની રચના સંબંધો પર આધારિત છે. માનવ સંબંધો અંગેની રસ સભર માહિતી અને સંબંધોને મજબૂત બનાવવા અને સાચવવા માટે જરૂરી સમજને હું સંસ્કાર સિંચન સાથે જોડી શક્યો. એક બીજાની વિશેષતાઓ ને જાણી અને સરાહીને પ્રોત્સાહિત કરવાથી કુટુંબભાવના દ્રઢ થાય છે તેવો સંદેશ પણ સ્પષ્ટ હતો.

કેસ સ્ટડી

સંસ્થાનું મીશન, ગરીબોનું કામ, મૂલ્યો આધારિત કામ અને કાર્યકરો નો સર્વાંગી સ્વવિકાસ, સંસ્થાની ધૂરી છે. અત્યંત ગરીબનું કામ કરવાનાં મીશન ને પ્રાપ્ત કરતાં જાળવવા નાં મૂલ્યો પ્રામાણિકતા, પારદર્શિતા, સમાનતા, સર્વ ધર્મ સમભાવના અને રાજકીય નિષ્પક્ષતા, સંસ્થાની કોઇ પણ ભોગે તબદીલ ન કરી શકાય તેવી દ્રઢ માન્યતા અને કાર્યપદ્ધતિ છે. સાંપ્રત સમાજ, સ્વામી વિવેકાનંદ અને મહાત્મા ગાંધી પ્રેરિત, આવાં મૂલ્યો સાથે ઓછો તાલમાં છે. અને તેથી સંસ્થા માટે આ સંસ્કારોનું સિંચન અને દ્રઢિકરણ, પાયાની અને અત્યંત જરૂરી પ્રક્રિયા છે. આ બાબત ત્રીજાં સત્રની સંરચનામાં સ્પષ્ટ થઈ.

સત્રના પ્રારંભમાં કાર્યકરોને મીશન અને મૂલ્યો કેટલાં આત્મસાત્ છે તેનું પરિક્ષણ થયું અને તેઓ એ પરિક્ષણમાં ખરા ઉતર્યા. કાર્યકરોમાંના મોટા ભાગના શૈક્ષણિક દ્રષ્ટિએ બહુ શિક્ષિત કહી ન શકાય તો પણ સંસ્થાનાં મીશન અને મૂલ્યોને આટલી સહજતાથી કહી શકતા કાર્યકરો, ઘણી આંતરરાષ્ટ્રીય ખ્યાતિ ધરાવતાં સંસ્થાનોમાં પણ સહેલાઇથી જોવા ન મળે. સંસ્થાની પ્રગતિ અને ખ્યાતિનું આ કારણ હોઇ શકે. (સંસ્થાની પ્રગતિમાં ભૌતિક ઉદાહરણ રૂપે હોલમાંનો ટચ સ્ક્રીન બોર્ડ જોઇને હું ઘણો પ્રભાવિત થયો.)

મીશન અને મૂલ્યોનાં પુનરાવર્તન પાછળનું કારણ ત્યારબાદ ની પ્રવ્રુત્તિ હતી. મીશન અને મૂલ્યોનું જતન કાર્ય સ્થળે કરવાની તકો કેવી રીતે ઉભી હોય છે તેના દાખલા રૂપે પાંચ ઘટનાઓને આલેખતી નોંધ બનાવેલી હતી. સહુ કાર્યકરોને પાંચ ગ્રુપમાં વહેંચી દેવાયા અને મયંકભાઇ, શોભાબ્હેન, ગાયત્રીબ્હેન, જાગ્રુતીબ્હેન અને જૈમિતભાઇની મદદથી એક એક ઘટનાની વિસ્ત્રુત ચર્ચા કરી પૂછેલી બાબતો વિષે ગ્રુપના વિચારો પ્રસ્તુત કરવાની કામગીરી સોંપાઇ. ચર્ચાના વિષયો અને ઘટનાઓ, નીચે મુજબ, મીશન અને મૂલ્યોને આવરતા હતા.

1.        ગરીબોનું કામ,

2.        પ્રામાણિકતા,

3.        સ્વવિકાસ ની તકો,

4.        ટીમ વર્ક, અને

5.        ચારિત્ર્યશીલતા.

કાર્યકરોએ દરેક મુદ્દાની ઝીણવટભરી ચર્ચા કરી અને ગ્રુપના તારણો પૂછાયેલા સવાલના જવાબ રૂપે પ્રસ્તુત કર્યા. પ્રસ્તુતિ ઉપરથી સ્પષ્ટ જણાયું કે, કાર્યકરો મીશન અને મૂલ્યોને સાચી રીતે સમજ્યાં છે. દરેક બાબત પોતાના કાર્યમાં કેવી રીતે સંકળાયેલ છે તેની તેઓને જાણ છે.

દાખલા રૂપે: જો નવા જ નીમાયેલ વોચમેન ભાઇ એમ કહે કે "મને સુચના છે કે મારે મારી કામની જગ્યાએ થી દૂર જવું નહીં. પરંતુ કોઇ ગરીબ, અશક્ત અને અજાણ દર્દી આવે તો હું તેને વ્હીલ ચેર કે સ્ટ્રેચરની વ્યવસ્થા કરી ઇમર્જન્સી એરિયામાં પહોંચાડીશ. ભલે તે સુચનાની અવગણના કહેવાય. ગરીબને મદદ એ સંસ્થાનું મીશન છે, સુચનાઓની જટીલતા નહીં”, કે કોઇ કાર્યકર એમ કહે કે “ચારિત્ર્યશીલતા એ સંસ્થાનાં મૂલ્યોમાંનું એક છે તેથી અપેક્ષા મુજબ વાણી અને વર્તન સંસ્થાની બહાર હોઇએ તો પણ દાખવવી જરૂરી છે, કારણ દરેક કાર્યકર સમાજમાં હરતું ફરતું સેવા રૂરલ છે”, તો, સંસ્કારોનું સિંચન અને દ્રઢિકરણ થઇ રહ્યું છે તે બાબતનો સંતોષ સંસ્થાના વડીલો લઇ શકે.

સંબંધો

કાર્યશાળાનાં છેલ્લાં સત્રમાં કોકીલાબ્હેને માનવ સંબંધો વિશે ઘણી સરળ પણ સચોટ શીખ, રમત અને વાર્તાઓના સહારે આપી. પરિચય સત્રના અનુસંધાને સંબંધોની દ્રઢતા માટે અન્યની વિશેષતાઓ ખોળવા અને પારખવા ઉપર ભાર મુક્યો. અને આમ કરવું કેટલું સરળ છે તે "પથ્થરને ઓળખો" રમતથી શીખવ્યું.

કાર્યકરોને વર્તુળ આકારે બેસાડી કોકીલાબ્હેને સહુને રમતના નિયમ સમજાવ્યા અને સહુને મનગમતો એક પથ્થર શોધી લાવવા કહ્યું. સહુએ પોતાના પથ્થરનું નિરિક્ષણ કરી લીધા પછી બધા પથ્થર ભેગા કરી દીધા. ત્યાર બાદ પથ્થરોને એક એક કરી સહુને બતાવી પોતાનો પથ્થર રાખી લેવા જણાવ્યું. એક રાઉન્ડ પુરો થતાં ચાર સિવાય ના બધાંએ પોતાનો પથ્થર ઓળખી લીધો.

ત્યાર બાદ સહુને વધુ ચોકસાઇ પૂર્વક નિરિક્ષણ કરવા જણાવ્યું કારણ હવે સહુએ પથ્થરને બંધ આંખે ઓળખવાનો હતો. આ વખતે પણ લગભગ બધાં પોતાના પથ્થરને સ્પર્શ, આકાર અને વજનના અંદાજે ઓળખી શક્યાં.

રમતને અંતે સહુ સમજ્યાં કે દરેક વ્યક્તિને આગવી વિશેષતાઓ હોય છે. આપણે વ્યક્તિની ત્રુટિઓ કરતાં વિશેષતાઓ અને ખૂબીઓ તરફ ધ્યાન કેંદ્રિત કરીએ તો તેમની સાચી ઓળખ મેળવી સંબંધોને બાંધી અને દ્રઢ કરી શકીએ.

ત્યાર બાદ ટુંકી વાર્તાઓ અને પ્રસંગો દ્વારા સંબંધોની જાળવણી માટે સલાહ મળી જેમ કે,

·        ગેરસમજ કે ઉતાવળે બાંધેલાં અનુમાન સંબંધમાં કડવાશ લાવે છે,

·        અધિકારનો આગ્રહ સંઘર્ષ નોતરે છે,

·        ભૂતકાળના કડવા અનુભવોની સ્મ્રુતિ સંબંધને સુધારવા માં અડચણ બને છે,

·        આક્ષેપબાજી સંબંધોને વણસાવે છે,

·        એક બીજાને અનુકૂળ થવાના પ્રયાસો સંબંધમાં મીઠાશ લાવે છે,

·        સંબંધને ટકાવવા માટે કંઇક જતું કરવાની તૈયારી જરૂરી છે,

·        સંબંધને ટકાવવા ખુલ્લા દિલનો સંવાદ મદદ કરે છે,

·        આદર અને માન સંબંધને પૂર્ણતા આપે છે.

ગુમાનદેવથી વર્કશોપ પુરો થાય તે પહેલાં, નીકળી જતાં ક્ષોભ અનુભવતો હતો. પણ પાછાં કપરાં ખેડાણ અંધારાં પહેલાં કરી લેવાની જરૂરિયાતને ધ્યાનમાં લઇ, પ્રિય જનોની રજા લઇ પરત મુસાફરી શરુ કરી. વડોદરા પહોંચતાં સુધી, આખા દિવસ દરમિયાન સારા માણસ બનવા માટે મેળવેલી શીખની યાદી બનાવવા પ્રયત્ન કર્યો, પણ સમય ઓછો પડ્યો. 

આવતા વર્ષે ફરી સંસ્કારોની લ્હાણી લેવા આવવું જ છે તે નક્કી.

Introspection, Reflections & Self awareness

My observations lead me to conclude that probability that a common human being  demonstrates self-awareness, indulges in introspection or conducts self appraisal on parameters such as discipline, values, morals, principles etc, is low.

Is it generally true? If yes, how can an individual be helped to think on these lines, realize his current state, get help and undertake these evaluations periodically?, were obvious questions.

This observation touches on an important aspect of human behavior. It's possible that many people may not regularly engage in deep self-awareness or introspection, due to a variety of factors, such as the busyness of daily life, a lack of encouragement or education on the importance of self-reflection, or simply not knowing how to start.

Introspection and reflection are habits which once formed can help individual be more self aware. Engaging in regular self-awareness, introspection, and self-appraisal activities offers numerous benefits. Check out some below:

1.      Improved Decision-Making:

·        Understanding values, strengths, and weaknesses leads to more informed and aligned decisions in personal and professional life resulting into better life choices that align with long-term goals and personal fulfillment.

2.      Enhanced Emotional Intelligence:

·        Self-awareness helps in recognizing and managing emotions, leading to better relationships and communication, resulting into improved conflict resolution, stronger interpersonal relationships, and greater empathy.

3.      Personal Growth and Development:

·        Regular self-appraisal encourages continuous self-improvement and goal setting, resulting into Increased motivation, self-confidence, and the achievement of personal and professional milestones.

4.      Greater Alignment with Values and Principles:

·        By regularly reflecting on values, helps ensuring that actions and decisions remain true to core beliefs, which results into a sense of integrity, consistency in behavior, and reduced internal conflict.

5.      Better Stress Management:

·        Introspection can help identify sources of stress and provide strategies to cope which helps in lowering levels of anxiety, improved mental health, and a more balanced lifestyle.

6.      Increased Resilience and Adaptability:

·        Understanding reactions to challenges helps in building resilience and adaptability in the face of adversity, which helps developing better coping mechanisms and the ability to navigate change with confidence.

7.      Strengthened Relationships:

·        Being aware of how actions affect others can lead to more thoughtful and considerate interactions, deeper and more meaningful relationships based on mutual respect and understanding.

8.      Clearer Life Purpose and Direction:

·        Regular introspection can help clarify purpose and life goals, which will provide a sense of direction, fulfillment, and motivation in pursuing long-term aspirations.

9.      Increased Accountability and Responsibility:

·        Self-appraisal fosters a sense of accountability for one's actions and decisions. This results into higher levels of responsibility in personal, family, and professional roles, leading to trust and reliability.

Like everything else in life the benefits do not accrue overnight. Practicing a routine and developing habits of periodically asking ourselves relevant questions is the key.

Here is a set of questions designed to encourage introspection, reflection, and self-assessment. These questions can guide an individual to think deeply about their actions, values, and personal growth, ultimately leading to greater self-awareness.

1.      Personal Values and Beliefs

·        What are the three most important values in my life, and why are they important to me?

·        Can I recall a recent decision I made that was strongly influenced by my values? How did it align with my principles?

·        Have I ever acted against my values? What did I learn from that experience?

2.      Personal Goals and Purpose

·        What do I believe is my purpose in life, and how are my daily actions aligned with that purpose?

·        What long-term goals have I set for myself? How am I progressing towards them?

·        Is there something I have always wanted to do or achieve but haven’t pursued? What’s holding me back?

3. Emotional Intelligence and Relationships

·        How do I typically react when faced with criticism or conflict? What do these reactions say about my emotional intelligence?

·        When was the last time I apologized to someone? What prompted me to do so, and how did it affect my relationship with that person?

·        How well do I understand and manage my emotions in stressful situations? Can I identify patterns in my emotional responses?

4. Personal Growth and Learning

·        What skills or knowledge have I acquired in the past year? How have they contributed to my personal or professional growth?

·        What mistakes have I made recently, and what have I learned from them?

·        Are there areas of my life where I feel stuck or unfulfilled? What steps can I take to move forward?

5. Time Management and Productivity

·        How do I typically spend my free time? Does it align with my goals and values?

·        What are my biggest distractions, and how do I manage them?

·        Can I identify a recent instance where I procrastinated? What was the underlying reason?

6. Discipline and Self-Control

·        How do I ensure that I follow through on my commitments and promises?

·        What challenges my self-discipline the most, and how do I overcome these challenges?

·        Do I regularly set and review personal goals? How do I stay on track to achieve them?

7. Accountability and Responsibility

·        How do I hold myself accountable for my actions and decisions?

·        When was the last time I admitted to a mistake? How did I address it?

·        In what areas of my life do I feel most responsible? How do I fulfill these responsibilities?

8. Self-Respect and Self-Care

·        How do I practice self-care, and how does it contribute to my overall well-being?

·        Do I treat myself with the same kindness and respect that I offer others? Why or why not?

·        What boundaries do I set for myself to maintain my well-being, and how do I enforce them?

9. Reflecting on Past Experiences

·        Looking back on the past year, what am I most proud of? What would I do differently?

·        What life events or experiences have shaped me the most, and how have they influenced my current behavior and outlook?

·        When I think about the person I was five years ago, how have I changed, and what has driven those changes?

10.  Future Aspirations

·        What kind of person do I aspire to be in the next five years? What changes will I need to make to become that person?

·        How do I envision my relationships, career, and personal life in the future? What am I doing now to make that vision a reality?

·        What legacy do I want to leave behind, and how am I working towards creating it?

These questions are designed to be open-ended, encouraging the respondent to dig deep into their thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. By reflecting on these areas, individuals can gain a better understanding of themselves, identify areas for improvement, and take steps towards personal growth and fulfillment.

Let us, if we are not, be introspective. It is better to do now, than never.