મારી વાર્ષિક તીર્થયાત્રા - ૨૪/૦૯/૨૦૨૪

 

મારી તીર્થયાત્રા

સહુને માટે પોતાની આસ્થા અનુસાર પસંદગીનાં તીર્થસ્થાન હોય. તે ચાર ધામ હોય, અષ્ટ વિનાયક હોય, દ્વાદશ જ્યોતિર્લિંગ હોય કે એક કાબા કે મક્કા હોય.

મારે મન યાત્રાધામ એટલે ઝઘડિયા અને ગુમાનદેવ સ્થિત સેવા રૂરલ સંસ્થા. દર વર્ષે એક વાર તો જવું જ એમ ધારેલું છે. વધારે થઇ શકે તો તે તીર્થસ્થાને વિરાજમાન ની ક્રૃપા. વર્ષે એક વાર આ તીર્થસ્થાનમાં સંસ્કાર ની લ્હાણી થાય, જે માણસને વધુ સારા માણસ બનવાના પાઠ શીખવાડે. કોઇ પણ ઉંમરે માણસ થવાની શીખ મળે તો લેવી, તેવી ભાવના આ તીર્થસ્થાન ની યાત્રાને મારા માટે ફરજિયાત હોવાનું કારણ છે. ઉંમર એવી કાંઇ વધી નથી, પણ કુટુંબીજનોને ચિંતા ઓછી થાય એટલે ટ્રેન કે બસમાં ન જતાં ગાડી ભાડે કરવી યોગ્ય રહે અને ભાડાની ગાડી વારંવાર કરવી અઘરી. એટલે ઓછામાં ઓછું એક વાર તો જવું જ એવો નિશ્ચય.

ગઇ કાલે વહેલી સવારે યાત્રાએ નીકળ્યો. આછો ખ્યાલ તો હતો કે યાત્રામાં કપરાં ચઢાણો નહીં પણ ખેડાણો તો આવશે જ. સમયસર પહોંચી પૂરે પૂરો લાભ લેવાય તેને માટે થોડો વહેલો જ નીકળ્યો. પણ ખેડાણ ઘણાં કપરાં હતાં. દસેક કિલોમીટર રસ્તો ખેતરમાં ફેરવાઇ ગયો હોઇ, આખે આખા પહોંચાય તે માટે સમય વધારે ગયો ને પાંચ મીનીટ મોડો પડ્યો અને તેને લીધે ઘણો સંકોચ અનુભવતો ખુરશીમાં ગોઠવાઇ ગયો.

પ્રાર્થના

મને તરત જ, મેં શું ગુમાવ્યું તેનો અંદાજ આવી ગયો. સંસ્થાના દરેક કાર્યક્રમોની જેમ, સંસ્કાર સિંચન વર્કશોપની શરૂઆત પણ, કવિ શ્રી કરસનદાસ માણેકની ભાવથી પ્રચૂર પ્રાર્થના, 'જીવન અંજલિ થાજો' થી થાય. આ પ્રાર્થનાનાં સહગાનમાં ભાગીદાર થવું એ પણ એક લ્હાવો છે. સંસ્થાના દરેક કાર્યકરને આ પ્રાર્થના કંઠસ્થ. તેઓને ધ્યાન પૂર્વક સંપૂર્ણ સમર્પણના ભાવ સાથે ગાતા અનુભવવા તે, સહુ કાર્યકરોના ઈષ્ટ છે તેવા દરિદ્રનારાયણની નિકટતાના અનુભવથી ઓછું નથી. મેં તે લ્હાવો ખોયો.

વાંચન

દરેક સભામાં પ્રાર્થના પછી વાંચન અને તે વિષયની ચર્ચા હોય. હું પહોંચ્યો ત્યારે ડૉ ગાયત્રીબ્હેન અત્યંત મ્રૃદુ સ્વરે, શાંતિપૂર્ણ રીતે, જરૂર પડે રોકાતાં, સહુને સમજાયું છે તેવું નક્કી કરતાં, ડૉ વિજળીવાળાના વાર્તા સંગ્રહ 'સાઇલન્સ પ્લીઝ' માંથી, સત્ય ઘટનાને આલેખતો, લેખ "હુંડી" વાંચતાં હતાં. હાજર રહેલા પચાસે પચાસ કાર્યકરો ધ્યાન પૂર્વક સાંભળતાં હતાં. સમજતાં હતાં અને વિચાર વિસ્તાર પણ કરતાં હતાં.

વાત હતી એક છેવાડાના ખેતમજૂરના જીવન સંઘર્ષ ની.

વાત હતી એવા વંચિતની નિસ્વાર્થ સેવાની.

વાત હતી અતિ ગરીબની પ્રામાણિકતાની. 

વાત હતી એ ખુમારીની કે યાતના સહન કરતાં પણ અણહક્કનું લેવું નહીં.

વાત હતી પરમ ક્રૃપાળુ ઈશ્વર ઉપરના વિશ્વાસ ની કે સદાચારીને જરૂર પડે તે મદદ કરશે જ.

સંસ્થાનાં નાનાં મોટાં સહુ મને સહજ રીતે પ્રિય છે. તેનું મુખ્ય કારણ અપ્રતિમ નમ્રતા, સહજ રીતે દર્શન થાય તેવી અનુકંપા અને કરૂણા, અને એક બીજા પ્રત્યે નિખાલસતાથી ભરપૂર આદર છે. વાંચનને અંતે, લેખમાંથી મળેલી શીખની ચર્ચા થઇ. ગાયત્રીબ્હેને હાજર સહુને લેખમાં વર્ણન કર્યા છે તેવા પોતાના અનુભવો હોય અને કહેવા હોય તો કહેવા આમંત્ર્યાં.

બહેનો અને ભાઇઓએ પોતાના અનુભવો, કુટુંબીજનોમાં પ્રવર્તમાન હોય તેવા વિશ્વાસ સાથે વર્ણવ્યા અને સહુએ કુટુંબીજનોમાં અનુભવી શકાય તેવી અનુકંપા દર્શાવતાં સાંભળ્યા. અન્યોનાં દુ:ખમાં દુ:ખી થતા સહકાર્યકરો મેં જોયા. જ્યારે આપદાઓ ની વાત થઇ ત્યારે હાજર સમૂહ માંનાં ધણાની આંખો ભીની થતી જોઇ. ઇશ્વરની ક્રૃપા અને સાથીઓની મદદની વાત થઇ ત્યારે સહુને હર્ષોલ્લાસથી ઋણ સ્વીકારતાં જોયાં.

પરિચય

પ્રશિક્ષણ અને તાલીમ આપતી સંસ્થા સાથે સંકળાયેલ હોઇ તાલીમના કાર્યક્રમો કે કાર્યશાળાનું આયોજન, નિરુપણ અને વિગતવાર રચના, કેટલી કુનેહ માગી લે તે બાબતનો આછો ખ્યાલ છે. તેમાં પણ કાર્યશાળા બધા જ કાર્યકરોને આવરી લે તેવી ડિઝાઇન કરવાની હોય તો લગભગ મહાયજ્ઞ નાં આયોજન જેવી શક્તિ જોઇએ, કારણ કાર્યકરોનાં શૈક્ષણિક સ્તરમાં ઘણો મોટો તફાવત ધ્યાનમાં રાખવો પડે અને તે છતાં સહુને રસ પડે અને સહુ ભાગીદાર થઇ શકે તેવી રચના કરવી પડે. તેમ છતાં જેઓને માનવ સંસાધન (એચ આર) વિષય અને ક્ષેત્ર સાથે દૂરનો પણ સંબંધ નથી તેવા અન્ય ક્ષેત્ર ના નિષ્ણાત ટ્રેનરોને કાર્યશળાનું સફળ સંચાલન કરતાં જોઇને મનોમન નમન કર્યા વગર રહી શકાતું નથી.

વાંચન, ચિંતન અને મનન પછીનાં સત્રમાં સહભાગી કાર્યકરોની, ગમ્મત સાથે ઓળખાણ માટે રમતો રમાઇ. બધાં જ વર્તુળાકારે ગરબા કરી નજીક આવ્યાં. ત્યાર બાદ અત્યંત મજેદાર રીતે નાનાં નાનાં ગ્રુપમાં વહેચાયાં.  નિષ્ણાત સહાયકોએ સમૂહમાં એક બીજા નો પરિચય આપવા અને લેવા માટે ગાઇડ કર્યાં. પહેલા તબક્કામાં ગ્રુપનાં સભ્યોએ એક બીજાની આવડતો, વિશેષતાઓ વિષે માહિતી મેળવી. બીજા તબક્કામાં ગ્રુપમાં સહુએ સંબંધો વિષે ચર્ચા કરી પોતાના એવા સંબંધો જેમાં સંપૂર્ણ વિશ્વાસ મુકી શકાય તેવા, અને જે સંબંધો સાથે કડવાં સંસ્મરણો જોડાયેલાં છે તેવા સંબંધો વિષે વાત કરી. આ પ્રવ્રૃત્તિ ને બીજાં સત્ર સાથે સાંકળવાની છે તે પણ સમજ નિષ્ણાતોએ આપી જેથી સાતત્ય જળવાઇ રહે.

સંસ્થાનાં મૂલ્યો માંનું એક 'કુટુંબ ભાવના' છે. કુટુંબની રચના સંબંધો પર આધારિત છે. માનવ સંબંધો અંગેની રસ સભર માહિતી અને સંબંધોને મજબૂત બનાવવા અને સાચવવા માટે જરૂરી સમજને હું સંસ્કાર સિંચન સાથે જોડી શક્યો. એક બીજાની વિશેષતાઓ ને જાણી અને સરાહીને પ્રોત્સાહિત કરવાથી કુટુંબભાવના દ્રઢ થાય છે તેવો સંદેશ પણ સ્પષ્ટ હતો.

કેસ સ્ટડી

સંસ્થાનું મીશન, ગરીબોનું કામ, મૂલ્યો આધારિત કામ અને કાર્યકરો નો સર્વાંગી સ્વવિકાસ, સંસ્થાની ધૂરી છે. અત્યંત ગરીબનું કામ કરવાનાં મીશન ને પ્રાપ્ત કરતાં જાળવવા નાં મૂલ્યો પ્રામાણિકતા, પારદર્શિતા, સમાનતા, સર્વ ધર્મ સમભાવના અને રાજકીય નિષ્પક્ષતા, સંસ્થાની કોઇ પણ ભોગે તબદીલ ન કરી શકાય તેવી દ્રઢ માન્યતા અને કાર્યપદ્ધતિ છે. સાંપ્રત સમાજ, સ્વામી વિવેકાનંદ અને મહાત્મા ગાંધી પ્રેરિત, આવાં મૂલ્યો સાથે ઓછો તાલમાં છે. અને તેથી સંસ્થા માટે આ સંસ્કારોનું સિંચન અને દ્રઢિકરણ, પાયાની અને અત્યંત જરૂરી પ્રક્રિયા છે. આ બાબત ત્રીજાં સત્રની સંરચનામાં સ્પષ્ટ થઈ.

સત્રના પ્રારંભમાં કાર્યકરોને મીશન અને મૂલ્યો કેટલાં આત્મસાત્ છે તેનું પરિક્ષણ થયું અને તેઓ એ પરિક્ષણમાં ખરા ઉતર્યા. કાર્યકરોમાંના મોટા ભાગના શૈક્ષણિક દ્રષ્ટિએ બહુ શિક્ષિત કહી ન શકાય તો પણ સંસ્થાનાં મીશન અને મૂલ્યોને આટલી સહજતાથી કહી શકતા કાર્યકરો, ઘણી આંતરરાષ્ટ્રીય ખ્યાતિ ધરાવતાં સંસ્થાનોમાં પણ સહેલાઇથી જોવા ન મળે. સંસ્થાની પ્રગતિ અને ખ્યાતિનું આ કારણ હોઇ શકે. (સંસ્થાની પ્રગતિમાં ભૌતિક ઉદાહરણ રૂપે હોલમાંનો ટચ સ્ક્રીન બોર્ડ જોઇને હું ઘણો પ્રભાવિત થયો.)

મીશન અને મૂલ્યોનાં પુનરાવર્તન પાછળનું કારણ ત્યારબાદ ની પ્રવ્રુત્તિ હતી. મીશન અને મૂલ્યોનું જતન કાર્ય સ્થળે કરવાની તકો કેવી રીતે ઉભી હોય છે તેના દાખલા રૂપે પાંચ ઘટનાઓને આલેખતી નોંધ બનાવેલી હતી. સહુ કાર્યકરોને પાંચ ગ્રુપમાં વહેંચી દેવાયા અને મયંકભાઇ, શોભાબ્હેન, ગાયત્રીબ્હેન, જાગ્રુતીબ્હેન અને જૈમિતભાઇની મદદથી એક એક ઘટનાની વિસ્ત્રુત ચર્ચા કરી પૂછેલી બાબતો વિષે ગ્રુપના વિચારો પ્રસ્તુત કરવાની કામગીરી સોંપાઇ. ચર્ચાના વિષયો અને ઘટનાઓ, નીચે મુજબ, મીશન અને મૂલ્યોને આવરતા હતા.

1.        ગરીબોનું કામ,

2.        પ્રામાણિકતા,

3.        સ્વવિકાસ ની તકો,

4.        ટીમ વર્ક, અને

5.        ચારિત્ર્યશીલતા.

કાર્યકરોએ દરેક મુદ્દાની ઝીણવટભરી ચર્ચા કરી અને ગ્રુપના તારણો પૂછાયેલા સવાલના જવાબ રૂપે પ્રસ્તુત કર્યા. પ્રસ્તુતિ ઉપરથી સ્પષ્ટ જણાયું કે, કાર્યકરો મીશન અને મૂલ્યોને સાચી રીતે સમજ્યાં છે. દરેક બાબત પોતાના કાર્યમાં કેવી રીતે સંકળાયેલ છે તેની તેઓને જાણ છે.

દાખલા રૂપે: જો નવા જ નીમાયેલ વોચમેન ભાઇ એમ કહે કે "મને સુચના છે કે મારે મારી કામની જગ્યાએ થી દૂર જવું નહીં. પરંતુ કોઇ ગરીબ, અશક્ત અને અજાણ દર્દી આવે તો હું તેને વ્હીલ ચેર કે સ્ટ્રેચરની વ્યવસ્થા કરી ઇમર્જન્સી એરિયામાં પહોંચાડીશ. ભલે તે સુચનાની અવગણના કહેવાય. ગરીબને મદદ એ સંસ્થાનું મીશન છે, સુચનાઓની જટીલતા નહીં”, કે કોઇ કાર્યકર એમ કહે કે “ચારિત્ર્યશીલતા એ સંસ્થાનાં મૂલ્યોમાંનું એક છે તેથી અપેક્ષા મુજબ વાણી અને વર્તન સંસ્થાની બહાર હોઇએ તો પણ દાખવવી જરૂરી છે, કારણ દરેક કાર્યકર સમાજમાં હરતું ફરતું સેવા રૂરલ છે”, તો, સંસ્કારોનું સિંચન અને દ્રઢિકરણ થઇ રહ્યું છે તે બાબતનો સંતોષ સંસ્થાના વડીલો લઇ શકે.

સંબંધો

કાર્યશાળાનાં છેલ્લાં સત્રમાં કોકીલાબ્હેને માનવ સંબંધો વિશે ઘણી સરળ પણ સચોટ શીખ, રમત અને વાર્તાઓના સહારે આપી. પરિચય સત્રના અનુસંધાને સંબંધોની દ્રઢતા માટે અન્યની વિશેષતાઓ ખોળવા અને પારખવા ઉપર ભાર મુક્યો. અને આમ કરવું કેટલું સરળ છે તે "પથ્થરને ઓળખો" રમતથી શીખવ્યું.

કાર્યકરોને વર્તુળ આકારે બેસાડી કોકીલાબ્હેને સહુને રમતના નિયમ સમજાવ્યા અને સહુને મનગમતો એક પથ્થર શોધી લાવવા કહ્યું. સહુએ પોતાના પથ્થરનું નિરિક્ષણ કરી લીધા પછી બધા પથ્થર ભેગા કરી દીધા. ત્યાર બાદ પથ્થરોને એક એક કરી સહુને બતાવી પોતાનો પથ્થર રાખી લેવા જણાવ્યું. એક રાઉન્ડ પુરો થતાં ચાર સિવાય ના બધાંએ પોતાનો પથ્થર ઓળખી લીધો.

ત્યાર બાદ સહુને વધુ ચોકસાઇ પૂર્વક નિરિક્ષણ કરવા જણાવ્યું કારણ હવે સહુએ પથ્થરને બંધ આંખે ઓળખવાનો હતો. આ વખતે પણ લગભગ બધાં પોતાના પથ્થરને સ્પર્શ, આકાર અને વજનના અંદાજે ઓળખી શક્યાં.

રમતને અંતે સહુ સમજ્યાં કે દરેક વ્યક્તિને આગવી વિશેષતાઓ હોય છે. આપણે વ્યક્તિની ત્રુટિઓ કરતાં વિશેષતાઓ અને ખૂબીઓ તરફ ધ્યાન કેંદ્રિત કરીએ તો તેમની સાચી ઓળખ મેળવી સંબંધોને બાંધી અને દ્રઢ કરી શકીએ.

ત્યાર બાદ ટુંકી વાર્તાઓ અને પ્રસંગો દ્વારા સંબંધોની જાળવણી માટે સલાહ મળી જેમ કે,

·        ગેરસમજ કે ઉતાવળે બાંધેલાં અનુમાન સંબંધમાં કડવાશ લાવે છે,

·        અધિકારનો આગ્રહ સંઘર્ષ નોતરે છે,

·        ભૂતકાળના કડવા અનુભવોની સ્મ્રુતિ સંબંધને સુધારવા માં અડચણ બને છે,

·        આક્ષેપબાજી સંબંધોને વણસાવે છે,

·        એક બીજાને અનુકૂળ થવાના પ્રયાસો સંબંધમાં મીઠાશ લાવે છે,

·        સંબંધને ટકાવવા માટે કંઇક જતું કરવાની તૈયારી જરૂરી છે,

·        સંબંધને ટકાવવા ખુલ્લા દિલનો સંવાદ મદદ કરે છે,

·        આદર અને માન સંબંધને પૂર્ણતા આપે છે.

ગુમાનદેવથી વર્કશોપ પુરો થાય તે પહેલાં, નીકળી જતાં ક્ષોભ અનુભવતો હતો. પણ પાછાં કપરાં ખેડાણ અંધારાં પહેલાં કરી લેવાની જરૂરિયાતને ધ્યાનમાં લઇ, પ્રિય જનોની રજા લઇ પરત મુસાફરી શરુ કરી. વડોદરા પહોંચતાં સુધી, આખા દિવસ દરમિયાન સારા માણસ બનવા માટે મેળવેલી શીખની યાદી બનાવવા પ્રયત્ન કર્યો, પણ સમય ઓછો પડ્યો. 

આવતા વર્ષે ફરી સંસ્કારોની લ્હાણી લેવા આવવું જ છે તે નક્કી.

Introspection, Reflections & Self awareness

My observations lead me to conclude that probability that a common human being  demonstrates self-awareness, indulges in introspection or conducts self appraisal on parameters such as discipline, values, morals, principles etc, is low.

Is it generally true? If yes, how can an individual be helped to think on these lines, realize his current state, get help and undertake these evaluations periodically?, were obvious questions.

This observation touches on an important aspect of human behavior. It's possible that many people may not regularly engage in deep self-awareness or introspection, due to a variety of factors, such as the busyness of daily life, a lack of encouragement or education on the importance of self-reflection, or simply not knowing how to start.

Introspection and reflection are habits which once formed can help individual be more self aware. Engaging in regular self-awareness, introspection, and self-appraisal activities offers numerous benefits. Check out some below:

1.      Improved Decision-Making:

·        Understanding values, strengths, and weaknesses leads to more informed and aligned decisions in personal and professional life resulting into better life choices that align with long-term goals and personal fulfillment.

2.      Enhanced Emotional Intelligence:

·        Self-awareness helps in recognizing and managing emotions, leading to better relationships and communication, resulting into improved conflict resolution, stronger interpersonal relationships, and greater empathy.

3.      Personal Growth and Development:

·        Regular self-appraisal encourages continuous self-improvement and goal setting, resulting into Increased motivation, self-confidence, and the achievement of personal and professional milestones.

4.      Greater Alignment with Values and Principles:

·        By regularly reflecting on values, helps ensuring that actions and decisions remain true to core beliefs, which results into a sense of integrity, consistency in behavior, and reduced internal conflict.

5.      Better Stress Management:

·        Introspection can help identify sources of stress and provide strategies to cope which helps in lowering levels of anxiety, improved mental health, and a more balanced lifestyle.

6.      Increased Resilience and Adaptability:

·        Understanding reactions to challenges helps in building resilience and adaptability in the face of adversity, which helps developing better coping mechanisms and the ability to navigate change with confidence.

7.      Strengthened Relationships:

·        Being aware of how actions affect others can lead to more thoughtful and considerate interactions, deeper and more meaningful relationships based on mutual respect and understanding.

8.      Clearer Life Purpose and Direction:

·        Regular introspection can help clarify purpose and life goals, which will provide a sense of direction, fulfillment, and motivation in pursuing long-term aspirations.

9.      Increased Accountability and Responsibility:

·        Self-appraisal fosters a sense of accountability for one's actions and decisions. This results into higher levels of responsibility in personal, family, and professional roles, leading to trust and reliability.

Like everything else in life the benefits do not accrue overnight. Practicing a routine and developing habits of periodically asking ourselves relevant questions is the key.

Here is a set of questions designed to encourage introspection, reflection, and self-assessment. These questions can guide an individual to think deeply about their actions, values, and personal growth, ultimately leading to greater self-awareness.

1.      Personal Values and Beliefs

·        What are the three most important values in my life, and why are they important to me?

·        Can I recall a recent decision I made that was strongly influenced by my values? How did it align with my principles?

·        Have I ever acted against my values? What did I learn from that experience?

2.      Personal Goals and Purpose

·        What do I believe is my purpose in life, and how are my daily actions aligned with that purpose?

·        What long-term goals have I set for myself? How am I progressing towards them?

·        Is there something I have always wanted to do or achieve but haven’t pursued? What’s holding me back?

3. Emotional Intelligence and Relationships

·        How do I typically react when faced with criticism or conflict? What do these reactions say about my emotional intelligence?

·        When was the last time I apologized to someone? What prompted me to do so, and how did it affect my relationship with that person?

·        How well do I understand and manage my emotions in stressful situations? Can I identify patterns in my emotional responses?

4. Personal Growth and Learning

·        What skills or knowledge have I acquired in the past year? How have they contributed to my personal or professional growth?

·        What mistakes have I made recently, and what have I learned from them?

·        Are there areas of my life where I feel stuck or unfulfilled? What steps can I take to move forward?

5. Time Management and Productivity

·        How do I typically spend my free time? Does it align with my goals and values?

·        What are my biggest distractions, and how do I manage them?

·        Can I identify a recent instance where I procrastinated? What was the underlying reason?

6. Discipline and Self-Control

·        How do I ensure that I follow through on my commitments and promises?

·        What challenges my self-discipline the most, and how do I overcome these challenges?

·        Do I regularly set and review personal goals? How do I stay on track to achieve them?

7. Accountability and Responsibility

·        How do I hold myself accountable for my actions and decisions?

·        When was the last time I admitted to a mistake? How did I address it?

·        In what areas of my life do I feel most responsible? How do I fulfill these responsibilities?

8. Self-Respect and Self-Care

·        How do I practice self-care, and how does it contribute to my overall well-being?

·        Do I treat myself with the same kindness and respect that I offer others? Why or why not?

·        What boundaries do I set for myself to maintain my well-being, and how do I enforce them?

9. Reflecting on Past Experiences

·        Looking back on the past year, what am I most proud of? What would I do differently?

·        What life events or experiences have shaped me the most, and how have they influenced my current behavior and outlook?

·        When I think about the person I was five years ago, how have I changed, and what has driven those changes?

10.  Future Aspirations

·        What kind of person do I aspire to be in the next five years? What changes will I need to make to become that person?

·        How do I envision my relationships, career, and personal life in the future? What am I doing now to make that vision a reality?

·        What legacy do I want to leave behind, and how am I working towards creating it?

These questions are designed to be open-ended, encouraging the respondent to dig deep into their thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. By reflecting on these areas, individuals can gain a better understanding of themselves, identify areas for improvement, and take steps towards personal growth and fulfillment.

Let us, if we are not, be introspective. It is better to do now, than never.

Bhagavad Geeta, summary of Vedic philosophy

I like Sanskrit as a subject of study. I recall in 8^th standard we studied first time, the subject had weightage equivalent of only 25 marks. We were taught ‘Shubhasheet’, verses of wisdom may be around 5 in a period every week. I recall I would have them by heart with meaning, when the period would end. I scored 25/25 in 8^th standard. This is just to provide evidence that I liked that subject. My siblings also were as interested and demonstrated same prowess.

There is another evidence. I took one external exam each year to learn beyond what was taught in the class. That is were I was introduced to Bhagwat Geeta (The Song of God) and could get opportunity to memorize chapters 12 and 15 and understand meanings. I believe the love for this language of God and that of Hindu scriptures was inherited from paternal genes.

Today, I was reflecting on some discussions with a learned relative about the concept and principles of Karm, and realized I have got some introduction to Bhakti, through chapter 12 of Bhagwat Geeta (Bhakti Yog, The Yog of Devotion) and to Gnyan, through exposure to chapter 2 (Sānkhya Yog : The Yog of Analytical Knowledge), over a period of time, but have not had opportunity to understand what does the Geeta say about Karm.

I have followed Swami Mukundanand’s commentary for understanding the God’s words. In the process of looking for knowledge on Karm contained in chapter 3 (Karm Yog, The Yog of Action), I came to get impressive introduction to Bhagwat Geeta.

Swamiji explains that ‘The Prasthān Trayī’, or the three pillars of Vedic thought, comprise the Upanishads, the Brahma Sutras, and the Bhagavad Geeta. These texts are central to understanding the depth and breadth of Vedic philosophy.

The Upanishads form the philosophical core of the Vedas, exploring profound concepts related to the nature of reality, the self, and the ultimate truth, or Brahman. Renowned for their depth and spiritual insight, the Upanishads have been highly regarded by philosophers worldwide. Arthur Schopenhauer, a prominent German philosopher, praised the Upanishads as one of the most elevating philosophies, providing solace throughout his life. Paul Deussen, another German thinker, acknowledged the Upanishads for their clear expression of eternal philosophical truths. However, the complex and abstract nature of these texts makes them challenging for the average person to fully grasp.

To address the complexity of the Upanishads, the Brahma Sutras were composed by Ved Vyas. This text serves as a systematic summary and philosophical conclusion of the Upanishads, earning the name “Vedant,” meaning the culmination of Vedic thought. The Brahma Sutras are highly concise, often leading to various interpretations and making them difficult to understand without deep study.

The Bhagavad Geeta, by contrast, is more accessible and provides a clear and practical summary of Vedic philosophy. Known as the “Song of God,” it presents a dialogue between Lord Krishna and the warrior Arjun on the battlefield of the Mahabharat. This conversation addresses fundamental questions about duty, righteousness, and the nature of the self, offering guidance that is both spiritual and practical.

Unlike many theories in disciplines such as economics, psychology, or sociology, which are often revised or discarded over time, the wisdom of the Bhagavad Geeta has endured for over fifty centuries. Its teachings have inspired a wide range of thinkers, including Mahatma Gandhi, physicist Robert Oppenheimer, psychologist Carl Jung, and writers like Herman Hesse and Aldous Huxley. The lasting relevance of the Geeta suggests its divine origin, transcending the limitations of human intellect and continuing to provide guidance to seekers of truth across the ages.

I have started reading, understanding and digesting what chapter 3 teaches us. Let me see if I can understand.

Reactions Vs Proactions - Cause and Effect

I read somewhere that observing comes naturally to all animals, not just to human beings. 

New Caledonian crows can guess the weight of an object by watching how it behaves in the wind, according to an international team of researchers. The findings, published in Proceedings of the Royal Society B, are the first of their kind in a non-human animal.

Humans use a variety of cues to gauge an object’s weight without directly handling it, including how easily it can be moved. For instance, if we see one object blowing down the street in the wind while another object remains stationary, we can infer which object is heavier. 

This beginning has nothing to do with what follows. I am building my defense. I am criticized in some quarters to be over doing this observation bit and more when I talk about observing my own behavior, which does not mean correcting the misbehavior, though.

I have observed and tried to analyze type of activity state, we are normally in. Such states are inaction, actions for life support, reaction and proaction. First two are constants and unavoidable for biologically human, but the time allotted two, reactions and proactions, vary. My observation is we are reactive more than we are proactive, generally. Reactions which i am focussing on are natural consequences of various external stimuli. Stimuli could be positive or negative, flattering or irritating.  And reactions could vary from withdrawal to aggression to violence, depending on how irritable I am and how strongly irritating is the stimulus. Such irritating stimuli could be noise in the surroundings, indisciplined traffic, nature's fury and i will look for studies related to reactions to irritants beyond our control, in the next part.

I looked for studies about what prompts, motivates and results into higher chances of reactive behavior, specifically to irritating stimuli. And i found that there are several studies that explore what prompts and motivates reactive behavior, particularly in response to irritating stimuli. This area of research is often examined in psychology, neuroscience, and behavioral science. The findings highlight various factors that can lead to increased reactivity, especially in the context of irritants or stressors.

1. Psychological Triggers:

   - Perceived Threat or Injustice: When individuals perceive a situation as threatening or unjust, they are more likely to react impulsively. This perception can be shaped by past experiences, personality traits, or even temporary emotional states. For example, someone who feels wronged may react defensively or aggressively to even minor irritations.

   - Cognitive Load: High cognitive load, such as multitasking or being overwhelmed with information, can lower an individual’s threshold for irritation. When mental resources are stretched thin, people are more likely to respond reactively to additional stressors because they have less capacity to process the situation calmly.

2. Biological and Neurological Factors:

   - Amygdala Activation: The amygdala, a part of the brain involved in emotional processing, plays a key role in reactive behavior. When the amygdala is highly activated, particularly in response to fear or anger, it can lead to immediate, reflexive reactions to irritating stimuli. This is often referred to as the "fight or flight" response.

   - Hormonal Influences: Stress hormones like cortisol can heighten reactivity. Elevated cortisol levels, often due to chronic stress, can make individuals more prone to irritation and less able to regulate their emotions, leading to more reactive behaviors.

3. Environmental and Contextual Factors:

   - Chronic Stress or Fatigue: Individuals under chronic stress or who are fatigued are more likely to respond reactively to irritants. The constant strain can lower resilience and make even small irritations feel overwhelming.

   - Social and Cultural Norms: In some social or cultural contexts, reactive behavior may be more accepted or even encouraged, particularly in response to perceived slights or disrespect. This can reinforce a cycle of reactivity where individuals are conditioned to respond aggressively or defensively to irritation.

4. Personality Traits and Individual Differences:

   - Trait Neuroticism: Individuals with higher levels of neuroticism, a personality trait associated with emotional instability and anxiety, are more prone to reactive behavior. They tend to have lower tolerance for irritants and may react more strongly to perceived slights or annoyances.

   - Impulsivity: Those with impulsive tendencies are more likely to engage in reactive behavior. Impulsivity can result from both genetic factors and environmental influences, and it often manifests as a quick, unconsidered response to irritation.

5. Behavioral Conditioning:

   - Past Reinforcement: Reactive behavior can be reinforced through past experiences where such responses were rewarded or at least not punished. For example, if someone has learned that reacting aggressively to irritants leads to the removal of the irritant or gains them some form of control, they are more likely to continue reacting in that way.

   - Learned Helplessness: On the flip side, individuals who feel powerless in the face of irritating stimuli may react out of frustration or desperation. This is often seen in environments where people have little control over their circumstances.

6. Situational Factors:

   - Lack of Control: Situations where individuals feel a lack of control can increase the likelihood of reactive behavior. When people cannot change or escape an irritating situation, they may react impulsively as a way to cope with the discomfort.

   - Social Provocation: Direct provocations, especially in social settings, are significant triggers for reactive behavior. If someone feels provoked or insulted, they are more likely to respond aggressively or defensively.

I have further observed that reactive behaviour does not mean benefits to me. On the contrarory it harms me only, physically as also psychologically. It distrubs me and distroys my peace. Reactive behavior, particularly in response to irritating stimuli, is influenced by a combination of psychological, biological, and environmental factors. Understanding these triggers can help in developing strategies to manage reactivity, such as through stress reduction, emotional regulation techniques, and mindfulness practices. By recognizing the factors that lead to heightened reactivity,  i can work towards more thoughtful and measured responses, even in the face of irritation.

Logical next step was to study how does being reactive hampers and how does proactivity helps. I found that the distinction between reactive and proactive activities has been the subject of various studies, especially in fields like psychology, behavioral economics, and management. The findings summarized below highlight the benefits of bing less reactive and more proactive:

1. Behavioral Studies on Reactivity vs. Proactivity:

   - Reactivity: Reactive behavior is typically triggered by external stimuli, often leading to immediate responses without much deliberation. While reactivity can be beneficial in situations requiring quick action (e.g., in emergencies), it can lead to stress, burnout, and poor decision-making when over-relied upon.

   - Proactivity: Proactive behavior involves anticipatory actions where individuals take control of situations by planning and preparing ahead. Proactivity is associated with better outcomes in personal and professional contexts because it allows for thoughtful decision-making, reduces stress, and promotes long-term success.

2. Studies in Workplace Settings:

   - Impact on Job Performance: Research has shown that employees who engage in proactive behaviors are more likely to excel in their roles. Proactivity is linked to higher job satisfaction, better performance, and greater career advancement opportunities. In contrast, a reactive approach often leads to feeling overwhelmed and less satisfied with one’s job.

   - Organizational Benefits: Proactive organizations tend to be more innovative and adaptable. Encouraging proactivity among employees can lead to a more resilient and forward-thinking workforce.

3. Psychological Implications:

   - Stress and Well-being: Reactive behaviors, especially when driven by constant stimuli or pressures, can lead to chronic stress and reduced well-being. Proactive individuals, who plan and manage their time effectively, tend to experience lower levels of stress and better overall mental health.

   - Emotional Regulation: Studies suggest that proactive people are better at regulating their emotions, as they are less likely to be caught off guard by unexpected situations. This emotional stability contributes to healthier relationships and improved social interactions.

4. Educational and Developmental Perspectives:

   - Teaching Proactivity: Educational programs that focus on developing proactive behaviors in students and young professionals have been shown to improve their problem-solving skills, critical thinking, and self-efficacy. These traits are crucial for success in various life domains.

   - Habit Formation: Habit formation research indicates that individuals can train themselves to be more proactive through practices like goal setting, time management, and mindfulness. Over time, these practices can shift a person’s default mode from reactive to proactive.

The balance between reactivity and proactivity is critical for overall well-being and success. While reactive behaviors are sometimes necessary, fostering a proactive mindset can lead to better long-term outcomes. Studies consistently show that proactive individuals and organizations are more resilient, innovative, and effective in their pursuits.

Let me look for ways and means of being proactive and what wise men suggest. It is never too late, even at the age of 78 years.

How To Address Others, Does It Matter?

Corona has changed the life at workplace. I have been not just advised but at times instructed not to come to office. The instructions are more out of love, affection and care for an old man, otherwise susceptible to infections and viruses.

That has converted all meetings virtual, to an extent that those in office also connect from their workstations!! This has also resulted into delayed acquaintances with new team members. And you can not blame that young, new member of the team who has not seen my grey hair and balding head, nor heard my guttural tone, if he, when he joins that virtual meeting and reads name in the box I occupy, Atul Mankad, addresses me as “Hi, Atul, we have not met”. And that addressing me by first name pulls him down in my esteem.

I have, in old days, when I was still old, been nasty at times and have told and at times written to such young person that “I prefer being addressed as Mr Mankad”. As a result, barring such brand new joinee, those who are very close to me and relatively older call me ‘Atulbhai’ or ‘ARM’, the others address me as ‘Mr Mankad’ or just ‘Sir’.

Today, having had similar experience, I wondered, from where and when do young children learn to address others?  Are they taught how does one demonstrate respect for others, even when the other person does not deserve respect?

I looked for information based on studies in social sciences. I framed following prompts:

1.      We find people addressing each other depending on intimacy or nature of relationship, differently. What are different cultural overtones as they relate to addressing others? 

2.      Generational overtones are observed surpassing traditional cultural nuances. Are there corroborating studies or evidences?

3.      Are there studies to evaluate effect on psychology of people of older generations cohabitating with millennials at Workplaces?

After trying to collate responses from multiple AI Bots, the information provided by ChatGPT sounds comprehensive and logical.

Please read on. It is always good to be aware and make our children aware:

The way people address each other varies significantly across cultures and is often influenced by factors such as intimacy, social hierarchy, and cultural norms. Here are a few examples of how different cultures approach forms of address:

1. Japan:

   - Suffixes: Japanese people often use honorifics (suffixes) to show respect and the nature of their relationship. For example, "-san" is a common respectful suffix, "-sama" is more respectful and formal, and "-kun" and "-chan" are used for close friends or younger people.

   - Titles and Last Names: It is common to address someone by their last name followed by a suffix, especially in formal settings. First names are usually reserved for close friends and family.

2. United States:

   - First Names: Americans often use first names even in professional settings, which reflects a more casual and egalitarian culture.

   - Titles: In formal or professional contexts, titles like "Mr.", "Mrs.", "Dr." followed by the last name are used.

3. France:

   - Formal vs. Informal: The use of "vous" (formal 'you') and "tu" (informal 'you') is important in French. Addressing someone as "vous" shows respect and distance, while "tu" indicates closeness and familiarity.

   - Titles: Titles such as "Monsieur", "Madame", and "Mademoiselle" are used in more formal interactions.

4. India:

   - Respect for Elders: It's common to address elders and authority figures with titles such as "Uncle", "Auntie", or "Sir/Madam" even if they are not related.

   - First Names and Nicknames: Among peers and friends, first names or affectionate nicknames are often used.

5. China:

   - Titles and Surnames: In formal settings, people are often addressed by their title (e.g., "Manager Li") or surname followed by a respectful term.

   - Family Terms: It is common to address people with familial terms like "Aunt", "Uncle", even if they are not family.

6. Germany:

   - Formality: Germans tend to be more formal, using "Herr" (Mr.) or "Frau" (Mrs./Ms.) followed by the last name in professional and formal contexts.

   - First Names: First names are usually reserved for close friends and family.

These cultural nuances highlight the importance of understanding and respecting different ways of addressing others, which can help in building better interpersonal relationships and avoiding misunderstandings.

Generational differences in forms of address and communication styles have been observed and studied across various cultures, indicating shifts that sometimes surpass traditional cultural nuances. Here are some studies and evidences:

1. Shift Towards Informality:

   - A study by the Pew Research Center found that younger generations, particularly Millennials and Gen Z, are more comfortable with informal communication styles and addressing people by their first names, even in professional settings. This trend reflects a broader cultural shift towards egalitarianism and away from hierarchical norms .

2. Workplace Communication:

   - Research published in the Journal of Intercultural Communication indicates that generational differences in the workplace can lead to varying expectations about communication and addressing colleagues. Younger employees often prefer less formal communication, which can sometimes clash with older colleagues' expectations of formality and respect .

3. Technology and Communication:

   - The rise of digital communication platforms has also influenced how different generations address each other. A study by the International Journal of Business Communication highlighted that younger generations, who are more accustomed to texting and social media, often use more casual language and abbreviations, even in professional emails and messages .

4. Globalization and Cultural Exchange:

   - A report by the World Economic Forum noted that globalization and the increased mobility of younger generations have led to a blending of cultural practices. Younger people are more likely to adopt communication styles from different cultures, leading to a mix of traditional and modern forms of address .

5. Education and Socialization:

   - Research by the Journal of Sociolinguistics found that educational institutions are significant in shaping communication styles. Younger generations exposed to diverse and multicultural environments in schools and universities are more likely to adopt informal and inclusive ways of addressing others, reflecting broader societal changes.

These studies and reports suggest that generational overtones indeed play a significant role in shaping communication practices, often surpassing traditional cultural norms. The increasing preference for informality, the influence of digital communication, and the impact of globalization are key factors driving these changes.

There are several studies that have evaluated the psychological effects on older generations cohabitating with Millennials in the workplace. These studies explore aspects such as job satisfaction, stress levels, communication challenges, and intergenerational dynamics. Here are some key findings from relevant research:

1. Intergenerational Conflict and Stress:

   - A study published in the Journal of Organizational Behavior found that intergenerational conflict can lead to increased stress and decreased job satisfaction among older employees. The differences in work values, communication styles, and expectations can create tension, particularly when younger employees challenge traditional practices and hierarchies .

2. Positive Intergenerational Interactions:

   - Research from the Journal of Applied Psychology indicated that positive interactions between generations can enhance job satisfaction and reduce stress. When older and younger employees engage in mentoring relationships, knowledge sharing, and collaborative projects, it can lead to a more inclusive and supportive work environment .

3. Adaptation and Flexibility:

   - A study in the International Journal of Human Resource Management highlighted that older employees who are adaptable and open to change experience less stress and higher job satisfaction when working with Millennials. The ability to embrace new technologies and flexible work practices is crucial for mitigating the negative effects of intergenerational differences .

4. Perceptions of Work Ethic:

   - Research in the Journal of Business and Psychology found that older generations often perceive Millennials as having a different work ethic, which can lead to misunderstandings and frustrations. However, when organizations foster an environment of mutual respect and understanding, these perceptions can be positively influenced, leading to better intergenerational cohesion .

5. Training and Development Program:

   - Studies have shown that training programs focused on improving intergenerational communication and collaboration can significantly reduce workplace stress and improve relationships between older and younger employees. These programs help bridge the gap by fostering mutual understanding and respect .

Overall, the research suggests that while there can be challenges associated with intergenerational cohabitation in the workplace, proactive strategies such as promoting positive interactions, fostering adaptability, and providing targeted training can mitigate negative effects and enhance the overall work environment.

Should I be a judge?

Thinking, as I mentioned the other day, is internalized information processing activity. Information gathered through experiences, reading and discussions.

I have been thinking about judging others’ conduct for the last two or three days. This was related to my recent experience. And I wanted wisdom to decide if I can be a judge and more specifically should I be a judge of someone else’s conduct. Since I could not afford to ask anyone, I resorted to searching for advice available in public domain using one of the AI supports.

I asked, “Can I be a judge?’ and the AI provided all details including position specifications like qualification and experience and detailed out process of recruitment and selection. I realized that my prompt was incomplete. I had to provide context, I thought.

Some one asked for help through a message and the sender was not in my contact list. And it was financial help. I could not understand who is the one who requests me by my name? And I looked for identity asking my nearest family members if they could identify. Ultimately, I could find out, but not before immediate family members knew about the request. There were suggestions and advice.

I asked the sender for some details about challenges faced by the requester. In the process it was informed that I may not tell others about the request. The requester turned out to be one who was not held in very high esteem by family members having behaved in a manner not normally expected of a responsible person, having failed to support the immediate family. I asked for some time under genuine pretext.

I was thinking about the request and evaluating the requester before deciding to help. And that led to the thought 'should I be a judge' and 'should I decide against helping?' 

I was reminded of the parable and what Jesus is quoted to have said when the woman accused of adultery was brought to him and asked, should she be stoned. Jesus had said "He who is without sin can cast the first stone" (John 8:7). 

I decided to help and having helped made it clear to the receiver that help cannot be expected perennially and that ways and means to be self-supporting should be found by the beneficiary. I did not inform anyone that I have extended help.

That was the reason for my looking for an answer to the question of should I be a judge and should I have acted otherwise? And ultimately, I looked for what wise people in the public domain would advise? 

On rephrasing the prompt leading to a question ’should I be a judge?’ AI Bot provided following response:

“That's a tricky situation! While it's understandable to consider an individual's past actions before offering help, it's essential to weigh your decision with empathy and integrity. Here are some factors to consider:

• Your relationship and responsibility: As a distant relative, you may not have a direct obligation to help.
• The nature of the request: Is it a genuine need or a recurring pattern of dependency?
• Their willingness to change: Have they made an effort to improve their situation or support their family?
• Your own capacity and resources: Can you offer help without compromising your own well-being or priorities?
• Alternative solutions: Could you connect them with other resources or support services instead?

Remember that refusing help might not necessarily teach the individual a lesson, but it could also mean missing an opportunity to make a positive impact. Consider having an open and honest conversation with the individual about your concerns and boundaries before deciding.”

I am convinced I have taken the right approach and the decision. Who am I to judge? 

I am sharing this to be of help should anyone of you face such a situation and are called upon to be judging others.

PS: The family members who know about the incident are requested not to divulge the beneficiary’s identity. I am sure they will help.

Am I Likeable?

 Yesterday i was scheduled to interact with two candidates for two totally different jobs. You first get to know candidates through their documented CV. One CV was a beauty, including his picture. At first sight i liked him. It was perhaps because he was a pass out of NIFT. The other one was the opposite, a psychometry research student, without picture. I was negatively impressed.

When we met the candidates, the impression turned totally opposite. After about three hours of interactions, I was wondering how likeability affects my conclusions, at times adversely also.

And today morning I find this article written by a psychologist for Forbes titled "Power of Likeability". The author highlighted that in social groups, including workplace teams, likeability is evaluated first, may be subconsciously. He says "We constantly evaluate others including leaders by two sets of non-verbal signals: One set of signals conveys power, authority, and status. But the first thing we look for (especially now, when empathy has never been more important) is a collection of “pro-social” signals that display warmth, empathy, and likeability."

The article provided some research based insights, directly or indirectly, what makes one more likeable.

I have strong likes and dislikes. The article made me think if my likeability measures match the researched conclusions? It made me ask a question to myself, am I likeable?

And that was more important for me. I need to get 360-degree feedback on that count. Such evaluation starts with self-evaluation. I asked myself following questions:

• Friendliness: How approachable and welcoming am I?
• Empathy: Can I understand and share the feelings of others?
• Positivity: Do I generally have an optimistic outlook?
• Respect: Do I treat others with courtesy and consideration?
• Active Listening: Do I pay close attention to what others are saying?
• Humor: Do I use humor appropriately to connect with others?
• Helpfulness: Am I willing to lend a hand when someone needs it?
• Reliability: Can people depend on me to keep my word?
• Positive interaction: What did I do that contributed to the positive atmosphere?
• Negative interaction. What could I have done differently to improve the situation?

I have my self evaluation score, but what matters more is your feedback. I have created a form for you to respond and give me your candid feedback. Please click on this link to open the form: https://forms.gle/pmwipYGV1WRXPEsi8

I am undertaking this exercise purely with selfish motive to improve myself and be more likeable.

I will await your response.