Sunday, 1 April 2018

Parental responsibilities

I had thought of writing under this caption a while back. I did have some purpose, mainly for new parents in the family.

Before i could pen my dilemmas, I have found another reason.

Since my return from annual business review meeting at a snobbishly high priced resort, after all the praises and adulation each one showered on the other and celebrations for a good year gone by, i should have been feeling happy and elated. On the contrary, i had that feeling of fatigue and unhappiness.

As i brood and dissect my behavior, my "values", my expectations to arrive at the cause of such negative feelings, my dilemma is, am I over stretching "Parental Responsibilities" in organizational context Or as parent in an organization, management has the responsibilities to define "virtues" and "vices" for guiding conduct of members of the organization.

I also wonder, am i trying to be a "moral police"? I wonder who am i to set standards of personal behavior in an organizational set up? I try to rationalize by looking for linkages of personal behavior with business benefits or otherwise.

It is astonishing how a couple of sentences during discussion on a totally different topic, and fleeting glance can, lead one to spend hours thinking and introspecting one's own behavior and analyzing other's motives.

I come from that old school, i have to be considering my age, where code of personal conducts related with eating and drinking were strictly defined. Some rules were community based, like we "Nagars" do not smoke (but chew) tobacco. Others were legally prescribed like consuming spirits has been illegal, without permit, in our state.

I have been holding female of the society in high regards, since they were and to a large extent are more disciplined, when it comes to following customs and codes. My definition of "virtues" and "vices" are liberalized greatly over the period, but i still feel extremely sad when i find young boys and more when i see young girls indulging in such non-standard behavior like smoking and drinking. Not because they are ladies but more because they are too young and impressionable. I can not change them and hence have only one liberty, of being unhappy.

Let me narrate the incidence and then seek advice. We were discussing a matter affecting the team and the decision makers had to huddle away from the team. We, the decision makers, retired to a small stand, marked "Smoking Zone". There was also sign of "Silent Zone". I wondered why smokers need silence? I pointed out to the group that we were at a wrong place, since none of us smoke. And then the small talk drifted to who did and a couple of boys were named. I started feeling the pang. And suddenly it shot up when the mention was "some more also do". Obvious pointer was to some of the female of the team. And that put me off. How can my children (and i assumed the parenthood in organizational set up) behave in the manner described? There was no naming and we concluded business on hand.

After a while when i was passing the same spot, i glanced in that direction and saw one of the boy in the stand very visible. To my dreaded unhappiness i spotted a couple of young ladies conspicuous by trying to hide themselves. That was the moment, i lost all interest in the meeting. I excused myself early and took leave of the host from not joining the party.

I still carry that bitter taste of unhappiness. I only hope, i do not show my discontent in my behavior in office.

What am i doing? Is this an incidence worth noticing? Who am i to prescribe "Vices" and "Virtues"? Can such habits be detrimental to the business interest?

I will overcome, for sure the period of unhappiness, since i strongly believe no one else can make me unhappy.

Friday, 8 September 2017

Appreciation and Insults

Suddenly a notification appeared on my phone, not so long ago. It informed me some friends were wishing me well on completing one more year of work association with the organization.
And I looked at the calendar. I realised it is a half century of work life. And that led to my talking to self about experiences as decades passed.

It was a very modest, unimpressive professional beginning. Firstly, electrical engineering happened by default and not by design. It is education system, which can be considered at fault.

First decade was that of great uncertainty. It was direction less wandering. I was born timid. I had no ambitions. I was unsure of my competence.

Industry was new experience, and textile, which was as it is dying without maturing, was not the place where a fresh engineer should be, to start with. That led to experiment with Cost and Works Accounting, which was shelved for time being when first change came.

Suddenly, by chance and because of Papa's contacts, i found myself in a technological sea. Lack of confidence as engineer and being amongst more proficient engineers generated inferiority complex. Thanks to very supportive superiors and colleagues, if I was not an apple of their eye, i never felt insulted.

It was in the middle of second decade, opportunity knocked the door and I was ready to move away from engineering and into an area, engineers normally are not comfortable being in. This was the turning point, i believe, in my development.

Suddenly, i found i was in competition free work area. Communication became more assertive. Analytical abilities which perhaps were not good for engineering, were now too good. Exposure to senior management and therefore recognition made me foe of erstwhile friends.

Learner in me helped me getting better with knowledge and skills required for non-engineering area. Fatherly seniors put me on a different padestal. Attention and appreciation were never in shortage. And this phase lasted for good two decades.

I never felt insulted even when customers of services i was responsible for providing, misbehaved. I could respond, and not react, with logic. There were hardly any instances when people on other side of table insulted me. Or atleast, i did not feel insulted, more because, beneficiaries behaved in the manner they did, since services failed at times.

And even during a short period of transition from serving state and therefore people, to serving private share owners, appreciation was never amiss.

From being executive to being an advisor, in the later half of fourth decade, the equations changed. I had age and associated ego of being "know all" to be managed. Children being supported were fresh college pass outs. Clients, mostly, were less knowledgeable in my field.

Suboptimal performance inspite of genuine and selfless support, has always irritated me. Such irritation takes different forms, depending on who the beneficiaries are. I believe I suffer from OCD being in perpetual state of evaluating causes for suboptimal performance, purely to help improve the same.

And when improvement evades in the name of business compulsions, feeling of being insulted takes over. Reconciling with sub-optimal performance of the wards when they ignore advise to meet business compulsions, is a tough call.

I am reminded of advise i received from one of my mentors, who had observed my habit of getting attached to outcomes which I considered must. He told me, when ever I would go to him agitated on our failure to achieve results we had thrived for in the interest of organization, that I need to develop 'shakshi bhav'. Such an attitude does not mean I stop working in the manner i do, that is in the interest of the beneficiaries and organization, but having done what i should, get detached from outcome. Since there are multiple factors affecting outcome.

Today, i saw one mail, which one of those bright young wards had sent to client, recording discussions we had. And the crucial points made by me, which I thought drove the nail to close the issue, were missed. What irritated me is that the ward had ignored me and avoided me before writing the mail. Feelings of being insulted were very acidic in nature.

I was reminded of my mentor's advice. The acid is neutralized. I am all sweetness. I am a 'shakshi' now.

Wednesday, 22 February 2017


I normally sleep well. Which means i sleep till almost 6:00 AM.
Today it was not so. I woke up a bit too early and as usual looked at messages and mails which had arrived during the night. Going through the messages i noticed that generally members of my family group were 'happy". That triggered a series of thoughts.
I tried to discuss with myself and then decided i must look for answers to questions like; 
  • What is happiness? 
  • Why is it important to be happy? 
  • What should we do to be happy? 
  • Can we measure happiness or can we undertake some reality check for self correction?
And i thought i should not only look for answers but also must write down. Then came the question why do people write? For some, it is a career; for others, a hobby. Some write because it helps them to sort out their feelings. Some have a story to tell. And some write because nothing in the world makes them happier. 
For me it is mainly to communicate with people close to me generally, and specifically for giving a message to children in my family. I searched for answers to questions i had about happiness and got the same. The purpose for this piece also for children to understand the concept and prepare themselves to remain happy. Happiness/ unhappiness is contagious. If i find a child in my vicinity unhappy, it makes me unhappy. I am only being selfish when i copy - paste what i came across on the subject.
Here it goes:
What is happiness:
In her 2007 book The How of Happiness, positive psychology researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky elaborates, describing happiness as “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.”
Why practice happiness?
In addition to making us feel good, studies have found that happiness actually improves other aspects of our lives. Here is an overview of some of the good stuff that research has linked to happiness.
  • Happiness is good for our health: Happy people are less likely to get sick, and they live longer.
  • Happiness is good for our relationships: Happy people are more likely to get married and have fulfilling marriages, and they have more friends.
  • Happy people make more money and are more productive at work.
  • Happy people are more generous.
  • Happy people cope better with stress and trauma.
  • Happy people are more creative and are better able to see the big picture.
It is obvious we must do whatever it needs to remain happy.
How to cultivate happiness?
Here are some of the keys to happiness Lyubomirsky and other researchers have identified.
·         Build relationships: Perhaps the dominant finding from happiness research is that social connections are key to happiness. Studies show that close relationships, including romantic relationships, are especially important, suggesting we should make time for those closest to us—people in whom we can confide and who’ll support us when we’re down.
·         Give thanks: Research by Michael McCullough, Robert Emmons, Lyubomirsky, and others has revealed the power of simply counting our blessings on a regular basis. People who keep “gratitude journals” feel more optimism and greater satisfaction with their lives. And research shows that writing a “gratitude letter” to someone you’ve never properly thanked brings a major boost of happiness.
·         Practice kindness: Research by Elizabeth Dunn and her colleagues finds that people report greater happiness when they spend money on others than when they spend it on themselves, even though they initially think the opposite would be true. Similarly, neuroscience research shows that when we do nice things for others, our brains light up in areas associated with pleasure and reward.
·         Give up grudges: Groundbreaking studies by Everett WorthingtonMichael McCullough, and their colleagues show that when we forgive those who have wronged us, we feel better about ourselves, experience more positive emotions, and feel closer to others.
·         Get physical: Exercise isn’t just good for our bodies, it’s good for our minds. Studies show that regular physical activity increases happiness and self-esteem, reduces anxiety and stress, and can even lift symptoms of depression. “Exercise may very well be the most effective instant happiness booster of all activities,” writes Lyubomirsky in The How of Happiness.
·         Get rest: Research has consistently linked lower sleep to lower happiness. What’s more, a study of more than 900 women, led by Nobel Prize-winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman, found that getting just one more hour of sleep each night might have a greater effect on happiness than a $60,000 raise.
·         Pay attention: Studies show that people who practice mindfulness—the moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts, feelings, and external circumstances—not only have stronger immune systems but are more likely to be happy and enjoy greater life satisfaction, and they are less likely to be hostile or anxious. Pioneering research by Richard Davidson, Jon Kabat-Zinn, and others has found that a basic eight-week mindfulness training program can significantly improve our physical and psychological well-being.
·         Don’t focus on material wealth: After our basic needs our met, research suggestsmore money doesn’t bring us more happiness—in fact, a study by Kahneman found that Americans’ happiness rose with their income only until they’d made roughly $75,000; after that, their happiness plateaued. And research by Richard Easterlin has found that in the long run, countries don’t become happier as they become wealthier. Perhaps that’s why, in general, people who prioritize material things over other values are much less happy, and comparing ourselves with people who have more is a particular source of unhappiness. It also suggests why more egalitarian countries consistently rank among the happiest in the world.
To these "hows", i have mine own. Every one of us may not get everything in life. Let us make sure we are not unhappy because some one else has got something we have not got.  The last suggestion about material wealth is very difficult to practice, but if we can do that our lives and those of people around us will be more enjoyable and this world will be a better place to live.
There are tools to measure the state as the website provides. Even without such support we all know if we are happy or not. We need to be able to find out if we are unhappy, why are we unhappy? That can not be a perpetual state. We must develop ability to come out of such a state and win over the same. Remember unhappiness is a state of mind and no body other than ourselves can have control over our minds.

Monday, 14 December 2015

God Bless America: Part IV

When I mentioned that “commonly known differentiating aspect, the driving discipline and traffic mannerism, is my next point of interest”, I was posing to be humble. In fact this one is a glaringly differentiating character. Many of us may even generalize it to be an aspect differentiating a developed and developing society.

Chaotic hold ups resulting from seemingly unplanned growth, sub-standard infrastructure, undisciplined behavior of vehicle users, is a way of life and we are almost used to it, if not the cause of it. Many of us like yours most truly may even not be silent spectators and may be abusing spectators for that matter. 

Traffic safety is a subject most discussed and little attended by all most all governments. I find studies after studies since the beginning of civilization (sarcasm intended) having been undertaken by many well meaning and other profiteering and politically motivated organizations and committees appointed by all and sundry government departments. The focus of these studies has been largely traffic safety.

It is irony, governments are more interested in quantity of life (and why not?) then quality of life on the road.

Traffic congestion is a major problem for transportation professionals in India. Most of the cities are suffering from medium to high level of traffic congestion. Although in some major cities the growth of private vehicle usage has increased at a faster rate, in general, car ownership and usage has remained at a much lower level in Indian context, as compared to increase in vehicular traffic of other varieties including bicycles, two wheelers and three wheelers. Poor road condition, non-uniform roadway specifications and features in terms of road width, lane width, shoulder width, turnings and round abouts, encroachment of road, abutting land use and resulting pedestrian activities, poor lane discipline, improper bus stop location and design, vehicles of wide ranging characteristics of technology and operating condition, heterogeneity of traffic, uncontrolled on-street parking, etc. indicate that the nature and cause of congestion in India are substantially different from those, if any in the developed countries.

Governments have been expending huge sums in expanding road networks, but little or no attention is paid to other softer and therefore difficult causes for abysmally poor quality of life on the roads.

Having experienced what roadway specifications can be while traveling in US, I was noting the lane width in particular. For us at home in India; width of Road (all rough edges counted) divided by two is the centre divider. And that is a broken line, meant for general guidance and not necessarily for restricting movement. If the road is wider, it can be because of many reasons, not necessarily current or projected traffic density (including financial considerations for parties to decision making), further divide by two to make two lanes each side. I wonder there are any standards and if any where have they been imported from?

I feel there must be standards but they are not for Indian traffic composition. Can we not have lanes designed keeping in view composition of our traffic, providing lanes with appropriate width for pedestrians, bicycles, two wheelers, three wheelers, cars, buses and heavy vehicles? I can not blame the traffic.

The causes of our traffic vows are thoroughly inadequately planned roads, lack of discipline, varieties of vehicles, our social customs, our religious beliefs related to animals, absence of laws and law enforcement. I am not talking rocket science. This is a matter of common sense. 

Who is responsible for this state?

I got my car driving license in early 70’s from a place, I had no connection with. That was because my uncle was District Superintendant of Police there. I do not remember I was tested at all. And that I am sure is true for many. Not everyone is as honest as I am. Compare this situation to what I experienced back in USA. My host has crossed 65 years (almost my age) and his license got due for renewal. He appeared at a written test of 100 questions. I believe we have introduced that system, but am not sure how effective is testing.

Traffic jams are experienced on US roads as well and I could witness on many occasions. But the way in which law enforcement agencies operate, the way in which vehicle users behave is totally different. There may be queues of miles on, but there will not be attempts to shift to lanes, there will not be honking of horns.

I believe there is dire need to educate law makers, law enforcing agencies and vehicle users including pedestrians.  I believe in US there is an institution of School Resource Officers, a type of Police Constabulary who help developing traffic sense in schools and may be even conducting driving classes for 10th grade students, since they have to bring cars from 11th grade on wards.

I looked at traffic signage and found thrice as many as we can find here, each making huge sense. I found the system of lines on the roads, broken, white full, yellow full and each has clear meaning which every one understands and mostly follows.

I found left only and right only arrows on roads. And everyone went by it, even if that meant travelling 10 additional miles for making a minor error of not following Right only lane arrow.

I am sure we will catch up and bridge the difference. I am sure our teachers will take up that onerous duty. Any comment from teachers in my circle?

So long. I will await for criticism and plan writing some more learnings. I have an explanation. Wait till you hear from me next. The cause is in Cultural aspects.

Thursday, 3 December 2015

God Bless America: Part III

I have a habit of continuously checking quality of my work. Though I am not jotting down my impressions and observations for mass communication, I am keeping an eye on how many of my friends have retained their interest in reading what I write. The second part shows decline. I may still wait before undertaking root cause analysis and carrying out mid-course corrections.

Let me get back to definition of Culture and relive what we saw, heard and experienced, for the time being. That will also provide some respite to those who may not appreciate theories much.

Your first impression of any place could be based on, if you are observant, what you see from air while landing, that is if you are flying in. And the first impression about my port of landing was “how can the streets be so geometrically aligned?” What you see from air when you come close to landing at O’Hare air port is perfect (almost) rectangles created on ground by a grid of streets. I could not take the picture, since I was not in window seat, but have borrowed image from Google Earth. This one is from a height of about 1000 ft.

Though yellow lines are not streets, if you enlarge this image, you will find perfect rectangles of plots made by streets. In fact the network is based on grid and streets are numbered such that the address can be used to find the distance between two points.

The road network in Chicago, our first port of calling, was so interesting; I looked for some details and found that Chicago's streets were laid out in a grid that grew from the city's original town site plan. Streets laid initially later became arterial streets in outlying sections. The streets are laid out with eight streets to the mile in one direction and 16 streets to a mile in the other direction. A scattering of diagonal streets, many of them originally trails, also cross the city.

The road naming/ numbering and house address system adopted by the city and extended to suburbs is so methodical, that one needs to know house number and street number/ name with an extension of North- South or East – West. The Street numbering is East – West of State Street and which runs north and south, and north – south of Madison Street, which runs east and west.

And this is not true of just Chicago, all the places we visited had similar character. Wikipedia has pages full of how Americans handle their roads from planning to sizing to maintaining and how do they plan their cities and counties to enhance public conveniences.

I was thinking about what is that distinguishing character of USA, which makes such planned layouts possible to the extent of being extremely predictable? How can the Freeways or Highways as we call them, be running straight in one direction for miles on without having even a 5 degree bend?  I believe the underlying pride among citizens to sacrifice own interests in favor of city or state and integrity of the public servants could be the reasons. I believe if decisions in public life are taken in individual interest, as against in interest of common good, such decisions will result in crocked roads, unplanned development and resultant public hardships.

My conclusions are, Americans behave more responsibly when it comes to society and public good, than us Indians. They do not have small temples and durrgahs to be shielded and protected. They perhaps do not have private plots of land to be retained in the shape the powerful owner wants to retain. They perhaps care for nature and natural heritage more and provide all that is necessary for protecting nature, storm water drainage, forest reserves, green belts, you name all.  

The other commonly known differentiating aspect, the driving discipline and traffic mannerism, is my next point of interest. Let me do some study and come back with concret stuff.

Till then, please comment and keep me awake.

I must appreciate a younger friend from USA, also one of our host, who insists I must keep writing and in fact demands.

Monday, 23 November 2015

God Bless America: Part II

I am happy no one asked me the reason for the caption. I would like to clarify. 

During these 4 months and about 10,000 miles of travel within the country to experience numerous attractions, one common thread was conspicuously visible. Americans are proud of what they have done and demonstrate the pride without inhibitions. Be it a Base ball game, a Football game, a video detailing Caves or journey of a space craft retired, you will listen to “God Bless America”, their National patriotic song written by Irving Berlin in 1918 and revised by him in 1938. The later version has been recorded by Kate Smith, becoming her signature song. The song is in form of a prayer ("as we raise our voices, in a solemn prayer") for God's blessing and peace for the nation ("...stand beside her and guide her through the night..."). (Source: Wikipedia)

I thought I can only say that after the travel.

Early comments have given me encouragement and some direction. I realize, my friends may be more interested in what I have learnt. Let me assure you, theories and studies I am talking about will only help all of us appreciate realities better.

Appraisal of others’ behavior is a common human tendency. And when we write about what we observed, it is also a kind of appraisal. It is essential that all appraisals are more objective to be effective. I would therefore intermittently present the dimensions on which group, team, organizational and national cultures can be objectively understood, characterized and profiled drawing from the literature. It may be good to agree that in areas of sociology, theories are critical and sound observations made by intelligent people in the past and therefore are relevant.

Hofstede's cultural dimensions theory is one such framework for characterizing national cultures in relativity, developed by Geert Hofstede. Hofstede developed his original model to examine the results of a world-wide survey of 'employee values' by IBM between 1967 and 1973. The theory was one of the first that could be quantified, and could be used to explain observed differences between cultures.

The Hofstede’s model of national culture consists of six dimensions. The cultural dimensions represent independent preferences that distinguish countries (rather than individuals) from each other. The country scores on the dimensions are relative. In other words, culture can be only used meaningfully by comparison. I would while bringing forth the cultural parameters try to relate our experiences and my observations. 

Now, all generalizations are wrong (including this one) and as such at times I may tend to over generalize. Please take it with a pinch of salt.

First the Hofstede’s dimension number one:

Power Distance:
This dimension expresses the degree to which the less powerful members of a society accept that it is perfectly in order if power is distributed unequally. People in societies exhibiting a large degree of Power Distance (India scores 77 against USA’s score of 40) accept a hierarchical order. Our cast system could be at the root of such acceptance. Our society accepts differences and even stereotypes such unequal groups. In societies with comparative low Power Distance like USA, people strive to equalize the distribution of power and demand justification for inequalities of power.

We did experience the power equality in day to day life during our stay.

At home, in India, Artisans who are engaged for repairs and maintenance of household equipment or structures at home, are treated, by most owners of the properties, with disdain. Now, this can be a sweeping generalization and may not be true for some. But such cases are exceptions and not norm. A meson or a carpenter or a vehicle mechanic or a driver or a plumber, notwithstanding that he is invited for jobs, will wait outside our place and may be allowed to enter homes after clear instructions. He would remove his shoes. He will not smoke while on premises. He will request for water, hesitatingly. He will eat, if at all something is offered, going out of the house and making sure no one sees him. This is normal and in line with the cast system we are inherited with.

Reduced power distance in US means such artisans are treated as equals. They will give appointment or take appointment. They will come by their own car. They will carry their food, drink and even their portable oven to heat their food. They will enter house inquiring how has the day been for the service receiver and may be, sit on the chair, if you need to discuss issues, without asking you, of course. He will not expect to be fed. He will be able to discuss not just the job but will have opinion about guns control, drugs control, presidential elections, you name the topic.

A host described, what is ultimate proof of low power distance. They were consulting a world renowned doctor for a child’s eye condition. The doctor an Indian, was so close that he insisted them to stay with him at his house during their visits to the town for consultation and treatment. He would ensure the guests are in company always. It was on one of those days that the doctor informed the guests that he will not be able to give them company. The reason was, he had to take a carpenter, who was working for hospital, to lunch. 

Can we ever think of treating a service provider with lunch or dinner?

More to follow. Please stop me if I am incoherent. Comments are always welcome.

Thursday, 19 November 2015

“God Bless America” : Part I

I am privileged to have people around me who are highly appreciative of what I do. Such appreciative groups have their expectations as well. At least I believe so. I believe they do expect me to write down what did I learn from our recent tour of United States of America. Even those who may not expect, I feel will certainly appreciate if I write down learning from the visit.

It is imperative, I evaluate the benefits for the cost, not just to me but to my hosts as well, incurred.

It was planned and much tom-tommed-about tour, as is my way of doing things. Many would inform, about such travels, only those who need to know, at the last minute. Some may not even inform. I believe I must announce my plans well in advance and let all those who matter know what I am conspiring to do. This strategy has multiple benefits. We get all the advice we need to have upfront, and we are prepared for all the adversities we may encounter. Planning for the tour started, I remember, immediately after a milestone of marriage of the younger one was reached, in February 2015.

Even before we left on July 11th, as is a habit, I pondered over what should be areas of interest during any such planned, prolonged and pricey travel. And it struck me that cultural differences is normally the talking point when ever relatives from such far away, modernized places visit us. And so comparing cultures was obvious topic of study. 

I have learnt, though not in an organized way, culture is what you see, feel and experience in the communities. I did look for more standard definitions and zeroed on:

Culture (noun)
1. The ideas, customs, values, and social behavior of a particular people or society.
2. The arts, artifacts, systems, processes and other manifestations of human intellectual achievement regarded collectively.

I was conscious, all these four months, to note these aspects where ever we went. 

I feel, before I start elaborating on my observations, it will be of interest to students of sociology and humanities, if I present findings of some studies, which will perhaps explain my observations as well.

Besides, when you are visiting a place which is allowing you to travel and hosts you, while narrating experiences the challenge is to ensure you do not hurt the popular sentiments and at the same time present your views objectively and dispassionately. In order to be objective in my narration, I looked for quantitative studies and thought of relating ground level experiences with the findings of the studies.

In order to ensure I do not become a bore and drive my friends away from reading this monologue, I plan to cover various aspects in following order, in future posts:

·         Theoretical aspects and findings of studies describing national cultures;
·         Comparison of Indian and American culture by scholars keeping the dimensions used for study in view;
·         My observations related to cultural dimensions keeping definition of culture in focus;
·         My learning from the tour for the benefits of those younger ones who plan to visit or migrate.

Your comments are welcome, as usual. They will help me cast my narratives better.