Today it was double whammy. A colleague of mine who achieved a milestone with us when congratulated replied showing her gratitude and thanked for helping "her be the best version of myself".
At the same time, I got an article titled "The Stoic Mindset: How to Use Ancient Lessons to Face Life’s Challenges" in my feed. After explaining what is Stoicism and how stoic mindset in application encourages us to develop self-control, resilience, and the ability to overcome destructive emotions, the author in conclusion advised ""Be your best self". Embracing Stoicism as a way of life is all about becoming the best version of yourself. It’s about realizing your potential and ability to shape your own life. This is harder because it requires consistent thought, action, and execution. But the reward, like living the life you want, is worth it."
That was the trigger. I looked for information which can help us understand what does being the best of ourselves mean and how to be one such piece. In response to my last of a series of questions I found answer in form of an essay, titled "Be the Best of Yourself: A Journey of Growth".
Read on, it could help.
The question of how to be the best version of oneself is a timeless pursuit, a quest that has driven humanity for millennia. It's a call to action that transcends age, background, and circumstance. But what does it truly mean to "be your best self"?
The answer isn't a singular destination, but rather a continuous journey of growth. It's about cultivating a personal compass, one that guides you towards living a life of meaning, purpose, and fulfillment. This internal compass draws from various philosophies and experiences, shaping us into individuals who contribute positively to ourselves and the world around us.
Stoicism, a philosophy rooted in reason and virtue, offers valuable insights. The Stoics believed that true happiness lies in focusing on what we can control – our own thoughts, emotions, and actions. By mastering these, we can approach life's challenges with resilience and equanimity. The Bhagavad Gita, a foundational text in Hinduism, resonates with this notion through its concept of Sthitapragya – a person of unwavering wisdom who acts with detachment from outcome. Both philosophies emphasize that becoming our best selves isn't about external validation or attaining a specific goal, but about living with integrity and purpose.
So, how do we translate these grand ideas into everyday life? The path towards becoming our best selves starts with introspection. We must ask ourselves: What are our values? What kind of person do we want to be? What impact do we want to have? Once we have a clearer vision, we can begin to cultivate the necessary skills and habits.
Developing a growth mindset is crucial. This means embracing challenges as opportunities to learn and improve. Rather than fearing failure, we can view setbacks as stepping stones on the path to self-mastery. Stoicism encourages us to practice perseverance, reminding us that even the most accomplished individuals once faced difficulties. Similarly, the Bhagavad Gita emphasizes fulfilling one's Dharma (duty) with unwavering dedication.
However, growth doesn't happen in a vacuum. We need to surround ourselves with positive influences, mentors who embody the qualities we aspire to possess. Building a strong support system provides encouragement and inspiration, and offers valuable perspectives on our journey. Additionally, fostering gratitude for what we already have cultivates a sense of well-being that allows us to approach challenges with a more positive outlook.
Ultimately, becoming the best version of ourselves is not about achieving perfection, but about consistently striving for improvement. It's about showing compassion for ourselves and others, and acting with integrity in our daily interactions. It's about nurturing our talents and contributing our unique gifts to the world. This journey of self-discovery is a lifelong pursuit, one that brings a sense of purpose and fulfillment with every step we take. As we strive to be our best selves, we not only elevate ourselves, but we also inspire others to embark on their own journeys of growth, creating a ripple effect of positive change in the world.
Tuesday 14 May 2024
Monday 13 May 2024
Parent - Adult Child Interactions
I was reading an article in Psychology Today, under the Parenting section, titled "What to Say Back to a Disrespectful Adult Child".
All of us, who received this invite, are parents or adult-children or both. We do hope we do not face situations when we are disrespectful or are at the receiving end of disrespectful behaviour. I am sure each one of us detest such situations and our behaviour, if we have been disrespectful, whether as parent or children. Some might have even cried in a closed room after misbehaving.
The author says "Navigating the tumultuous waters of parent/adult-child relationships often feels like sailing through stormy seas, especially when disrespectful behavior creates waves of tension and conflict. However, amidst the tempest of emotions, one phrase stands out as a beacon of hope: Would you agree that we could benefit more from having a calm, constructive conversation?"
The article touched and i tried to recall situations which led me to such misbehaviour both as an adult-child first and as a parent of adult-children later. I can not undo. I can only seek forgivance.
And I can learn about what psychologists advise parents and adult children about handling such situations and make them rewarding interactions, and help those in my circle of influence to be aware of such situations and mend their behavior.
Psychologists offer advice to turn things around as under:
For Parents:
• Listen and Validate: Try to understand where your child's coming from. Use "I" statements to express how their behavior makes you feel, e.g. "I feel hurt when you speak to me that way." Acknowledge their feelings too.
• Set Boundaries: It's okay to say no and have expectations for respectful communication. Let them know what behavior is unacceptable.
• Let Go of Control: They're adults now, and you can't control their choices. Focus on strengthening the relationship.
For Adult Children:
• Practice Empathy: Consider your parent's perspective. They may feel hurt or disrespected.
• Communicate Clearly: State your needs and opinions calmly and directly. Avoid accusatory language.
• Respect Their Boundaries: They deserve respect too. Don't expect them to automatically agree with everything you do.
For Both:
• Pick Your Battles: Not everything is worth a fight. Choose what's truly important to address.
• Focus on the Positive: Nurture the good aspects of your relationship. Plan activities you both enjoy.
• Seek Professional Help: If communication seems impossible, consider family therapy. A neutral third party can guide a productive conversation.
Communication is the key. By actively listening, expressing needs respectfully, and being open to compromise, you can turn those challenging interactions into rewarding connections.
All of us, who received this invite, are parents or adult-children or both. We do hope we do not face situations when we are disrespectful or are at the receiving end of disrespectful behaviour. I am sure each one of us detest such situations and our behaviour, if we have been disrespectful, whether as parent or children. Some might have even cried in a closed room after misbehaving.
The author says "Navigating the tumultuous waters of parent/adult-child relationships often feels like sailing through stormy seas, especially when disrespectful behavior creates waves of tension and conflict. However, amidst the tempest of emotions, one phrase stands out as a beacon of hope: Would you agree that we could benefit more from having a calm, constructive conversation?"
The article touched and i tried to recall situations which led me to such misbehaviour both as an adult-child first and as a parent of adult-children later. I can not undo. I can only seek forgivance.
And I can learn about what psychologists advise parents and adult children about handling such situations and make them rewarding interactions, and help those in my circle of influence to be aware of such situations and mend their behavior.
Psychologists offer advice to turn things around as under:
For Parents:
• Listen and Validate: Try to understand where your child's coming from. Use "I" statements to express how their behavior makes you feel, e.g. "I feel hurt when you speak to me that way." Acknowledge their feelings too.
• Set Boundaries: It's okay to say no and have expectations for respectful communication. Let them know what behavior is unacceptable.
• Let Go of Control: They're adults now, and you can't control their choices. Focus on strengthening the relationship.
For Adult Children:
• Practice Empathy: Consider your parent's perspective. They may feel hurt or disrespected.
• Communicate Clearly: State your needs and opinions calmly and directly. Avoid accusatory language.
• Respect Their Boundaries: They deserve respect too. Don't expect them to automatically agree with everything you do.
For Both:
• Pick Your Battles: Not everything is worth a fight. Choose what's truly important to address.
• Focus on the Positive: Nurture the good aspects of your relationship. Plan activities you both enjoy.
• Seek Professional Help: If communication seems impossible, consider family therapy. A neutral third party can guide a productive conversation.
Communication is the key. By actively listening, expressing needs respectfully, and being open to compromise, you can turn those challenging interactions into rewarding connections.
What needs to be therefore developed is habit of respectful communication. And responsibility of developing such habit is primarily that of parents. Children will develop once they observe parents practice the same.
Building a habit of respectful communication between parents and adult children takes time and effort, but it's definitely achievable! Here are some strategies psychologists recommend for primarily parents to adopt:
Lay the groundwork:
• Model Respectful Communication: As a parent, how you communicate with others sets the tone for your children. Show them respect in your interactions with them and others This includes acknowledging their opinions, even if you disagree.
• Open Communication from Young: Encourage open and honest communication from a young age. This means creating a safe space where they feel comfortable expressing themselves without fear of judgment.
Actively Listen:
• Focus on Understanding: When your child talks, truly listen to understand their perspective, not just wait for your turn to speak. Ask clarifying questions and paraphrase what they say to show you're paying attention.
• Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge their emotions, even if you don't agree with their viewpoint. Phrases like "It sounds like you're feeling frustrated" can go a long way.
Communicate Effectively:
• "I" Statements: Use "I" statements to express your feelings without placing blame. For example, "I feel hurt when you raise your voice" is more productive than "You're always yelling at me!"
• Nonverbal Communication: Maintain good eye contact, use a calm tone, and avoid interrupting. These nonverbal cues show you're engaged and respectful.
Practice Makes One Perfect:
• Schedule Regular Check-Ins: Set aside dedicated time to talk, even if it's just a quick catch-up. This shows you value their time and relationship.
• Focus on Shared Activities: Find activities you both enjoy doing, whether it's a shared hobby, watching a movie, or grabbing a meal together. This creates positive associations with communication.
Be Willing to Compromise:
• Respect Differences: Recognize and accept that you won't always see eye-to-eye. Respecting your child's right to their own opinion fosters trust and strengthens communication.
• Find Common Ground: Look for areas where you can agree, even if it's just a small step forward. This can help build momentum towards a more respectful communication style.
Remember, this is a continuous process. There will be bumps along the road, but by consistently practicing these strategies, you can create a lasting foundation of respectful communication with your adult child.
Building a habit of respectful communication between parents and adult children takes time and effort, but it's definitely achievable! Here are some strategies psychologists recommend for primarily parents to adopt:
Lay the groundwork:
• Model Respectful Communication: As a parent, how you communicate with others sets the tone for your children. Show them respect in your interactions with them and others This includes acknowledging their opinions, even if you disagree.
• Open Communication from Young: Encourage open and honest communication from a young age. This means creating a safe space where they feel comfortable expressing themselves without fear of judgment.
Actively Listen:
• Focus on Understanding: When your child talks, truly listen to understand their perspective, not just wait for your turn to speak. Ask clarifying questions and paraphrase what they say to show you're paying attention.
• Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge their emotions, even if you don't agree with their viewpoint. Phrases like "It sounds like you're feeling frustrated" can go a long way.
Communicate Effectively:
• "I" Statements: Use "I" statements to express your feelings without placing blame. For example, "I feel hurt when you raise your voice" is more productive than "You're always yelling at me!"
• Nonverbal Communication: Maintain good eye contact, use a calm tone, and avoid interrupting. These nonverbal cues show you're engaged and respectful.
Practice Makes One Perfect:
• Schedule Regular Check-Ins: Set aside dedicated time to talk, even if it's just a quick catch-up. This shows you value their time and relationship.
• Focus on Shared Activities: Find activities you both enjoy doing, whether it's a shared hobby, watching a movie, or grabbing a meal together. This creates positive associations with communication.
Be Willing to Compromise:
• Respect Differences: Recognize and accept that you won't always see eye-to-eye. Respecting your child's right to their own opinion fosters trust and strengthens communication.
• Find Common Ground: Look for areas where you can agree, even if it's just a small step forward. This can help build momentum towards a more respectful communication style.
Remember, this is a continuous process. There will be bumps along the road, but by consistently practicing these strategies, you can create a lasting foundation of respectful communication with your adult child.
Let peace and harmony prevail in families and societies!!
Thursday 9 May 2024
Thought Leadership: am I a Thought Leader?
I hesitate to write on demand. And professional children, specifically the Marketing variety, use tricks to make me write. One of them recently called up and suggested I write on a topic technical in nature which can be said to be covered broadly under subjects grouped as Humanities. I have never studied any of those subjects.
She tried to pump me up explaining the phenomenon of 'Thought Leadership' and convincing me that I am a Thought Leader. She educated me that "Thought Leaders don't just regurgitate existing information. They challenge the status quo and offer fresh perspectives. This can influence how people think about entire industries, potentially leading to positive change." She further informed that "Thought Leadership has become a much bigger buzzword in recent years".
"Thought Leadership attracts people interested in the ideas being presented. This can be a great way to generate leads and connect with potential customers who are already halfway down the buying journey" she cajoled me.
When challenged she provided evidences and said "a recent survey found that 65% of buyers said Thought Leadership content improved their perception of a company."
I thought (did I? , can I?) what is new in this development? Philosophers, scientists, and scholars have played a Thought Leadership role throughout history. Their ideas and writings challenged contemperory thinking and shaped societal progress.
She said "the phenomenon may not be entirely new" and gave me timeline. She said "The term "Thought Leader" is coined by Joel Kurtzman, editor-in-chief of Strategy & Business magazine in 1994, to describe individuals with deep industry understanding and unique perspectives. The concept gained traction as companies leveraged thought leadership for brand building and establishing expertise. The internet and social media revolutionized Thought Leadership, as content became more accessible and interactive, allowing for wider reach and deeper audience engagement."
I was yielding, but still thought (again?) even if Thought Leadership may be a successful experiment for businesses and organizations and may help in providing valuable insights to society while building trust and attracting new customers, is it not that like any strategy, it needs to be done well? Is it not that Thought Leadership which is viewed by potential customers as 'self-serving' or 'inauthentic' can backfire?
I was convinced that Thought Leadership needs a strategic approach to be effective and looked for some do's and don'ts to guide development of the strategy and could find following advice:
"Do:
• Focus on value, not sales: People are looking for insights and solutions, not just product pitches. Provide genuine expertise and fresh perspectives on industry trends.
• Identify your niche: Don't try to be everything to everyone. Sharpen your focus on a specific area of expertise where you can establish yourself as a true authority.
• Become a multi-platform storyteller: Use a variety of media formats like blog posts, articles, podcasts, videos, or even webinars to reach your target audience where they consume information.
• Engage with your audience: Encourage discussion and feedback on your content. Respond to comments, participate in industry forums, and build relationships with your readers or viewers.
Don't:
• Just brag about yourself: Thought leadership isn't about self-promotion. Focus on offering valuable insights, not just highlighting your company's accomplishments.
• Neglect quality: Invest in creating high-quality content that is well-researched, informative, and engaging.
• Be afraid to challenge the status quo: Thought leaders bring fresh perspectives. Don't be afraid to question conventional wisdom and present new ideas.
• Disappear after publishing: Content creation is just one step. Promote your content, distribute it widely, and actively engage with your audience.
By following these guidelines, you can design a Thought Leadership strategy that positions you as a trusted authority, attracts new customers, and benefits your industry as a whole."
Now I need to introspect and decide "am I a Thought Leader?"
She tried to pump me up explaining the phenomenon of 'Thought Leadership' and convincing me that I am a Thought Leader. She educated me that "Thought Leaders don't just regurgitate existing information. They challenge the status quo and offer fresh perspectives. This can influence how people think about entire industries, potentially leading to positive change." She further informed that "Thought Leadership has become a much bigger buzzword in recent years".
"Thought Leadership attracts people interested in the ideas being presented. This can be a great way to generate leads and connect with potential customers who are already halfway down the buying journey" she cajoled me.
When challenged she provided evidences and said "a recent survey found that 65% of buyers said Thought Leadership content improved their perception of a company."
I thought (did I? , can I?) what is new in this development? Philosophers, scientists, and scholars have played a Thought Leadership role throughout history. Their ideas and writings challenged contemperory thinking and shaped societal progress.
She said "the phenomenon may not be entirely new" and gave me timeline. She said "The term "Thought Leader" is coined by Joel Kurtzman, editor-in-chief of Strategy & Business magazine in 1994, to describe individuals with deep industry understanding and unique perspectives. The concept gained traction as companies leveraged thought leadership for brand building and establishing expertise. The internet and social media revolutionized Thought Leadership, as content became more accessible and interactive, allowing for wider reach and deeper audience engagement."
I was yielding, but still thought (again?) even if Thought Leadership may be a successful experiment for businesses and organizations and may help in providing valuable insights to society while building trust and attracting new customers, is it not that like any strategy, it needs to be done well? Is it not that Thought Leadership which is viewed by potential customers as 'self-serving' or 'inauthentic' can backfire?
I was convinced that Thought Leadership needs a strategic approach to be effective and looked for some do's and don'ts to guide development of the strategy and could find following advice:
"Do:
• Focus on value, not sales: People are looking for insights and solutions, not just product pitches. Provide genuine expertise and fresh perspectives on industry trends.
• Identify your niche: Don't try to be everything to everyone. Sharpen your focus on a specific area of expertise where you can establish yourself as a true authority.
• Become a multi-platform storyteller: Use a variety of media formats like blog posts, articles, podcasts, videos, or even webinars to reach your target audience where they consume information.
• Engage with your audience: Encourage discussion and feedback on your content. Respond to comments, participate in industry forums, and build relationships with your readers or viewers.
Don't:
• Just brag about yourself: Thought leadership isn't about self-promotion. Focus on offering valuable insights, not just highlighting your company's accomplishments.
• Neglect quality: Invest in creating high-quality content that is well-researched, informative, and engaging.
• Be afraid to challenge the status quo: Thought leaders bring fresh perspectives. Don't be afraid to question conventional wisdom and present new ideas.
• Disappear after publishing: Content creation is just one step. Promote your content, distribute it widely, and actively engage with your audience.
By following these guidelines, you can design a Thought Leadership strategy that positions you as a trusted authority, attracts new customers, and benefits your industry as a whole."
Now I need to introspect and decide "am I a Thought Leader?"
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