All of us, who received this invite, are parents or adult-children or both. We do hope we do not face situations when we are disrespectful or are at the receiving end of disrespectful behaviour. I am sure each one of us detest such situations and our behaviour, if we have been disrespectful, whether as parent or children. Some might have even cried in a closed room after misbehaving.
The author says "Navigating the tumultuous waters of parent/adult-child relationships often feels like sailing through stormy seas, especially when disrespectful behavior creates waves of tension and conflict. However, amidst the tempest of emotions, one phrase stands out as a beacon of hope: Would you agree that we could benefit more from having a calm, constructive conversation?"
The article touched and i tried to recall situations which led me to such misbehaviour both as an adult-child first and as a parent of adult-children later. I can not undo. I can only seek forgivance.
And I can learn about what psychologists advise parents and adult children about handling such situations and make them rewarding interactions, and help those in my circle of influence to be aware of such situations and mend their behavior.
Psychologists offer advice to turn things around as under:
For Parents:
• Listen and Validate: Try to understand where your child's coming from. Use "I" statements to express how their behavior makes you feel, e.g. "I feel hurt when you speak to me that way." Acknowledge their feelings too.
• Set Boundaries: It's okay to say no and have expectations for respectful communication. Let them know what behavior is unacceptable.
• Let Go of Control: They're adults now, and you can't control their choices. Focus on strengthening the relationship.
For Adult Children:
• Practice Empathy: Consider your parent's perspective. They may feel hurt or disrespected.
• Communicate Clearly: State your needs and opinions calmly and directly. Avoid accusatory language.
• Respect Their Boundaries: They deserve respect too. Don't expect them to automatically agree with everything you do.
For Both:
• Pick Your Battles: Not everything is worth a fight. Choose what's truly important to address.
• Focus on the Positive: Nurture the good aspects of your relationship. Plan activities you both enjoy.
• Seek Professional Help: If communication seems impossible, consider family therapy. A neutral third party can guide a productive conversation.
Communication is the key. By actively listening, expressing needs respectfully, and being open to compromise, you can turn those challenging interactions into rewarding connections.
What needs to be therefore developed is habit of respectful communication. And responsibility of developing such habit is primarily that of parents. Children will develop once they observe parents practice the same.
Building a habit of respectful communication between parents and adult children takes time and effort, but it's definitely achievable! Here are some strategies psychologists recommend for primarily parents to adopt:
Lay the groundwork:
• Model Respectful Communication: As a parent, how you communicate with others sets the tone for your children. Show them respect in your interactions with them and others This includes acknowledging their opinions, even if you disagree.
• Open Communication from Young: Encourage open and honest communication from a young age. This means creating a safe space where they feel comfortable expressing themselves without fear of judgment.
Actively Listen:
• Focus on Understanding: When your child talks, truly listen to understand their perspective, not just wait for your turn to speak. Ask clarifying questions and paraphrase what they say to show you're paying attention.
• Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge their emotions, even if you don't agree with their viewpoint. Phrases like "It sounds like you're feeling frustrated" can go a long way.
Communicate Effectively:
• "I" Statements: Use "I" statements to express your feelings without placing blame. For example, "I feel hurt when you raise your voice" is more productive than "You're always yelling at me!"
• Nonverbal Communication: Maintain good eye contact, use a calm tone, and avoid interrupting. These nonverbal cues show you're engaged and respectful.
Practice Makes One Perfect:
• Schedule Regular Check-Ins: Set aside dedicated time to talk, even if it's just a quick catch-up. This shows you value their time and relationship.
• Focus on Shared Activities: Find activities you both enjoy doing, whether it's a shared hobby, watching a movie, or grabbing a meal together. This creates positive associations with communication.
Be Willing to Compromise:
• Respect Differences: Recognize and accept that you won't always see eye-to-eye. Respecting your child's right to their own opinion fosters trust and strengthens communication.
• Find Common Ground: Look for areas where you can agree, even if it's just a small step forward. This can help build momentum towards a more respectful communication style.
Remember, this is a continuous process. There will be bumps along the road, but by consistently practicing these strategies, you can create a lasting foundation of respectful communication with your adult child.
Building a habit of respectful communication between parents and adult children takes time and effort, but it's definitely achievable! Here are some strategies psychologists recommend for primarily parents to adopt:
Lay the groundwork:
• Model Respectful Communication: As a parent, how you communicate with others sets the tone for your children. Show them respect in your interactions with them and others This includes acknowledging their opinions, even if you disagree.
• Open Communication from Young: Encourage open and honest communication from a young age. This means creating a safe space where they feel comfortable expressing themselves without fear of judgment.
Actively Listen:
• Focus on Understanding: When your child talks, truly listen to understand their perspective, not just wait for your turn to speak. Ask clarifying questions and paraphrase what they say to show you're paying attention.
• Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge their emotions, even if you don't agree with their viewpoint. Phrases like "It sounds like you're feeling frustrated" can go a long way.
Communicate Effectively:
• "I" Statements: Use "I" statements to express your feelings without placing blame. For example, "I feel hurt when you raise your voice" is more productive than "You're always yelling at me!"
• Nonverbal Communication: Maintain good eye contact, use a calm tone, and avoid interrupting. These nonverbal cues show you're engaged and respectful.
Practice Makes One Perfect:
• Schedule Regular Check-Ins: Set aside dedicated time to talk, even if it's just a quick catch-up. This shows you value their time and relationship.
• Focus on Shared Activities: Find activities you both enjoy doing, whether it's a shared hobby, watching a movie, or grabbing a meal together. This creates positive associations with communication.
Be Willing to Compromise:
• Respect Differences: Recognize and accept that you won't always see eye-to-eye. Respecting your child's right to their own opinion fosters trust and strengthens communication.
• Find Common Ground: Look for areas where you can agree, even if it's just a small step forward. This can help build momentum towards a more respectful communication style.
Remember, this is a continuous process. There will be bumps along the road, but by consistently practicing these strategies, you can create a lasting foundation of respectful communication with your adult child.
Let peace and harmony prevail in families and societies!!
Very important message.Let peace and Harmony prevail in families and societies.
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