Embracing Advanced Age

It was not so early today. I woke up late. A reason could be a quarter of festivities including preparations for the same, got over yesterday. I wondered how strange are the God's wills! Exactly an year back we struggled with loosing two dear ones. And now some reasons to celebrate!

Then came a tentative complaint of pain in chest from the better half, not associated with any other symptom. It subsided without further effect and life is back to normal.

That led me to think in the direction, we normally do not prefer to think, inspite of the inevitability of the occurance.

We are cross 75 years. We have completed 50 years together. We are physically fit without any ailment. We are generally active. Can we be called to be in that 'advanced age' bracket? I think we are in that bracket. Then, the question came, should we not prepare family and children for challenges we will present to them? What would wise people advise?

Where do I find those wise people? 

Bard is one of those wise person who searches for information from sea of knowledge and wisdom stored in the servers world over.

I asked Bard:

"If i were in advanced age bracket, what actions should I take to prepare my family to face challenges, we may present?"

The answer I got is, in my view, pure wisdom. It is very practical advice. I will develop customised approach for us and share with our children. I thought it will be good for those who are in the same bracket, as also for those who have parents in such advanced age bracket, to consider. 

While I wish each one of us very long life, it is good to be prepared.

Bard's answer reads:

"It's great that you're thinking ahead and wanting to prepare your family for your advancing age. While the specific actions you take will depend on your individual circumstances and family dynamics, here are some general steps you can consider:

Open Communication and Planning:

• Initiate honest conversations: Start early and have open discussions with your family about your wishes, concerns, and preferences regarding future care and living arrangements. Listen to their worries and address them empathetically.

• Create a comprehensive plan: Organize your legal documents like wills, power of attorney, and living will. Share your financial information and discuss potential care options with your family, including home care, assisted living, or nursing homes.

• Involve your family in decision-making: Don't make crucial decisions alone. Collaboratively discuss and plan for future needs, ensuring everyone feels heard and understands the process.

Empowering Your Family:

• Share knowledge and skills: Equip your family with the knowledge and skills to manage your finances, healthcare needs, and daily living tasks if needed. This empowers them to be informed and confident in supporting you when necessary.

• Reduce burdens and anxieties: Address your family's potential anxieties about your future care. Consider delegating tasks or responsibilities based on individual strengths and preferences to avoid overburdening anyone.

• Seek professional guidance: Don't hesitate to involve professionals like financial advisors, geriatric care managers, or attorneys. They can offer valuable guidance and personalized solutions tailored to your specific situation.

Maintaining Your Independence and Wellbeing:

• Prioritize your health: Focus on healthy habits like exercise, proper diet, and preventive healthcare. This can improve your well-being and independence as you age.

• Stay active and engaged: Continue hobbies, social activities, and volunteer work that bring you joy and purpose. Maintaining an active lifestyle contributes to both physical and mental well-being.

• Embrace technology: Explore assistive technologies that can help you maintain independence and manage daily tasks as needed. These tools can range from medication reminders to smart home devices.

Additional Tips:

• Celebrate milestones and achievements: Recognize and celebrate your own victories and positive moments, fostering a sense of hope and self-worth.

• Be flexible and adaptable: Understand that situations may change, and be prepared to adjust your plans and roles as needed.

• Focus on strengthening family bonds: Invest time and effort in nurturing relationships with your loved ones. Strong connections provide invaluable support and comfort.

Remember, preparing for advancing age is a continuous journey. Open communication, shared responsibility, and proactive planning can ease the process for you and your family, ensuring a smoother transition and greater peace of mind for all involved."

The Day After

Sun has been milder for some days. Today it seems even more. Birds have stopped chirping these days. They must have felt bad, for a fortnight i did not heed to their chirping, or have I been cut off by the door which is closed? Even milkman wondered, "why only two"? He did not ask, though.

The sofa back and seat covers are unruffled. They have been same for a day now. Not a toy nor litter of any other kind in site. Every inch of house is spick and span. Every item has returned to it's original place.

Silence is deafening or are my ears ringing? Communication between the only two souls has reached its new depth. Phone calls have been at reduced frequency.

We will overcome. We know these are after effects of family, younger ones, gathering for a short period. That was not real, this, current state is real. Children have their life goals, their achievements, their families.

Enjoy when you are together, and remember the togetherness when you are just two!!

It was planned. It was not just a wish, it was a desire, and an earnest one. It had been long they all met. Some of them had not mourned their mothers who they had lost in these eight years, together. They wanted to relive their childhood.

They also wanted to enjoy an event as in past and for that an event was pre-decided, performing 'yagnopavit' sanskar of the eldest boy child of fourth generation of my parents.

They started arriving from east and west crossing pacific and atlantic, the children of the family which was the root. Barring one or two, all reached home as decided.

It appeared extensive planning had been done by children, knowing me fully well. They had worked out what they will do each of the seven days they are together including what they will eat (not missing out on any of their favourite dishes), who will do what and when.

They started with 'remembering our childhood', all of them got around a bag full of old pictures. Fortunately the hall could accommodate not just the revellers and pictures but also memories.

Children recalled what happened, when and how much they enjoyed and described the past to the youngest generation. Pictures were shared to be taken away.

They remembered each one of their three mothers they had lost and sobbed in silence. Together they overcame grief quickly to prepare for next day.

They had planned to travel to river Narmada to pay homage to lost relatives. Travelling in a bus together was arranged. This must have helped them getting back to normal after tearful homage.

They planned for a day out and visited a touristy place returning late all fagged out.

Next two days they got into event management mode. They had lined up minutely, each task and executed the same to perfection, each one contributing to make sum of parts greater than one.

The festivities got fillip because of participation of local extended families and shared meals of all cuisines.

The final event was culmination of the a week long celebration of togetherness.

While two younger generations were together there was a suggestion to squeeze in an hour of group discussion to guide the eldest three of the youngest generation to think about success and goals in life. Children had created a short presentation, which paucity of time did not allow them to present. It will be carried forward virtually.

They planned their departure so well that it did not create void. Each one of them returning after a time gap.

Today the final batches reached their nests, one in west and the other in east. They will call up. They will exchange notes and recall good times. They will remember and sob. I will too. We are same gene!!