Parental responsibilities

I had thought of writing under this caption a while back. I did have some purpose, mainly for new parents in the family.

Before i could pen my dilemmas, I have found another reason.

Since my return from annual business review meeting at a snobbishly high priced resort, after all the praises and adulation each one showered on the other and celebrations for a good year gone by, i should have been feeling happy and elated. On the contrary, i had that feeling of fatigue and unhappiness.

As i brood and dissect my behavior, my "values", my expectations to arrive at the cause of such negative feelings, my dilemma is, am I over stretching "Parental Responsibilities" in organizational context Or as parent in an organization, management has the responsibilities to define "virtues" and "vices" for guiding conduct of members of the organization.

I also wonder, am i trying to be a "moral police"? I wonder who am i to set standards of personal behavior in an organizational set up? I try to rationalize by looking for linkages of personal behavior with business benefits or otherwise.

It is astonishing how a couple of sentences during discussion on a totally different topic, and fleeting glance can, lead one to spend hours thinking and introspecting one's own behavior and analyzing other's motives.

I come from that old school, i have to be considering my age, where code of personal conducts related with eating and drinking were strictly defined. Some rules were community based, like we "Nagars" do not smoke (but chew) tobacco. Others were legally prescribed like consuming spirits has been illegal, without permit, in our state.

I have been holding female of the society in high regards, since they were and to a large extent are more disciplined, when it comes to following customs and codes. My definition of "virtues" and "vices" are liberalized greatly over the period, but i still feel extremely sad when i find young boys and more when i see young girls indulging in such non-standard behavior like smoking and drinking. Not because they are ladies but more because they are too young and impressionable. I can not change them and hence have only one liberty, of being unhappy.

Let me narrate the incidence and then seek advice. We were discussing a matter affecting the team and the decision makers had to huddle away from the team. We, the decision makers, retired to a small stand, marked "Smoking Zone". There was also sign of "Silent Zone". I wondered why smokers need silence? I pointed out to the group that we were at a wrong place, since none of us smoke. And then the small talk drifted to who did and a couple of boys were named. I started feeling the pang. And suddenly it shot up when the mention was "some more also do". Obvious pointer was to some of the female of the team. And that put me off. How can my children (and i assumed the parenthood in organizational set up) behave in the manner described? There was no naming and we concluded business on hand.

After a while when i was passing the same spot, i glanced in that direction and saw one of the boy in the stand very visible. To my dreaded unhappiness i spotted a couple of young ladies conspicuous by trying to hide themselves. That was the moment, i lost all interest in the meeting. I excused myself early and took leave of the host from not joining the party.

I still carry that bitter taste of unhappiness. I only hope, i do not show my discontent in my behavior in office.

What am i doing? Is this an incidence worth noticing? Who am i to prescribe "Vices" and "Virtues"? Can such habits be detrimental to the business interest?

I will overcome, for sure the period of unhappiness, since i strongly believe no one else can make me unhappy.