Pandemic has done the damage, I feel. Or is it done by mankind, us, unintentionally?
To avoid infection distance required was physical, and we were told to create social distance. And we have done it. We are advised to consider each one trying to come close to you "a potential killer" to create that distance. Some have practiced to negligible effect, more compliant and afraid of virus have achieved greater distance.
These days, or months now, life is "set" as the "lingo" goes. It has become so predictable that, if you know me, you can tell with confidence which chair I must be sitting on, if you are asked to tell, by looking at the clock or watch or the phone. Unfortunately no one asks you, and you get away, unscathed.
To avoid infection distance required was physical, and we were told to create social distance. And we have done it. We are advised to consider each one trying to come close to you "a potential killer" to create that distance. Some have practiced to negligible effect, more compliant and afraid of virus have achieved greater distance.
These days, or months now, life is "set" as the "lingo" goes. It has become so predictable that, if you know me, you can tell with confidence which chair I must be sitting on, if you are asked to tell, by looking at the clock or watch or the phone. Unfortunately no one asks you, and you get away, unscathed.
This virus has gained all the attention and importance from the day, the sole purpose of our (family members') existence, Ma, departed. To such an extent it has hurt us, that we could not pay our respect in public, we could not be together to mourn her nor even get nicely framed picture of her in our homes.
For me departure of Ma, the one to whom i was answerable and hence had to report on daily basis, and "social distancing" forced by pandemic, are a double whammy!! I wonder every day in the morning, those two hours we are fixated in rocking chairs, who do i talk to today? Some of you may know, i love talking, to some people. Ma was one to whom, when she was not at her Aadhar card address, i would talk to practically every morning, without any reason. She is not there now.
There are others to whom i would call up regularly, but they are distanced socially, for easons, i can not fathom. There are still some, who are mine and so much committed to me, i perhaps take them for granted and do not count them as those who are "not distanced". But the times have certainly changed, social and political distancing is changing the definition of society.
I was looking for answers to some social distancing related questions and i find, Social distance is the "measure of nearness or intimacy that an individual or a group feels towards another individual or group in a societal network or the level of trust one group has for another".
I was trying to get to the root of causes responsible for my feelings of being excluded and distanced. And hence looked for dimensions by which social distance is measured. I find there are four dimensions. Affections, Norms, Frequency of Interactions and Culture/ Habits.
Affective social distance measures the sympathy members of the group feel for other members and for other groups. Normative social distance refers to widely accepted and often expressed norms for considering some as insiders and others as outsiders. Interactive social distance measures frequency and intensity of interaction within and between groups. Cultural and habitual social distance is largely based on economic and financial disparity.
Distance i was feeling from those whom i would like to remain close must have been caused by disturbance in one or more of the dimensions, logically. I need to introspect and see which dimension i have mishandled.
I have another option. Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation (FIRO) has a scale version B for behaviour, which measures how one feels when in a group when it comes to inclusion, control and affection/ openness or to be able to get feedback from people in a group.
I know i would like to be included in some groups. I know i would like to include some people in a group i am in. I know i would like to seek control over a group of my choice. I know i would be controlled by a group of chosen one. I know i like some people and i am liked by some. The disturbance must have taken place in these equations, i am sure.
Let me take FIRO-B and get the report, to feel better in these challenging times. I am fortunate to have Psychologists of some standing in the group i would like to be included in but not control. I have taken the test and am waiting for the report. I will analyse the same as soon as received and try to find ways and means to feel better, even if not included.
For me departure of Ma, the one to whom i was answerable and hence had to report on daily basis, and "social distancing" forced by pandemic, are a double whammy!! I wonder every day in the morning, those two hours we are fixated in rocking chairs, who do i talk to today? Some of you may know, i love talking, to some people. Ma was one to whom, when she was not at her Aadhar card address, i would talk to practically every morning, without any reason. She is not there now.
There are others to whom i would call up regularly, but they are distanced socially, for easons, i can not fathom. There are still some, who are mine and so much committed to me, i perhaps take them for granted and do not count them as those who are "not distanced". But the times have certainly changed, social and political distancing is changing the definition of society.
I was looking for answers to some social distancing related questions and i find, Social distance is the "measure of nearness or intimacy that an individual or a group feels towards another individual or group in a societal network or the level of trust one group has for another".
I was trying to get to the root of causes responsible for my feelings of being excluded and distanced. And hence looked for dimensions by which social distance is measured. I find there are four dimensions. Affections, Norms, Frequency of Interactions and Culture/ Habits.
Affective social distance measures the sympathy members of the group feel for other members and for other groups. Normative social distance refers to widely accepted and often expressed norms for considering some as insiders and others as outsiders. Interactive social distance measures frequency and intensity of interaction within and between groups. Cultural and habitual social distance is largely based on economic and financial disparity.
Distance i was feeling from those whom i would like to remain close must have been caused by disturbance in one or more of the dimensions, logically. I need to introspect and see which dimension i have mishandled.
I have another option. Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation (FIRO) has a scale version B for behaviour, which measures how one feels when in a group when it comes to inclusion, control and affection/ openness or to be able to get feedback from people in a group.
I know i would like to be included in some groups. I know i would like to include some people in a group i am in. I know i would like to seek control over a group of my choice. I know i would be controlled by a group of chosen one. I know i like some people and i am liked by some. The disturbance must have taken place in these equations, i am sure.
Let me take FIRO-B and get the report, to feel better in these challenging times. I am fortunate to have Psychologists of some standing in the group i would like to be included in but not control. I have taken the test and am waiting for the report. I will analyse the same as soon as received and try to find ways and means to feel better, even if not included.
Good one, sir. Extremely well written. Sometimes it's important to pen down one's own thoughts, it makes a difference and helps us ease our racing mind.
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