Golden Jubilee of Togetherness

I do understand silver, golden or names of such precious metals are associated with dates and not years, but I take liberty to assign such qualification to the year which will soon begin. It will be 49 years come the 28th January next, we got married. It will be Golden Jubilee Year of our marriage. Last year same

And what a journey it has been.

It was an arranged marriage, though we had families which connected both of us. I believe both of us liked each other from word go, once introduced. Both were matching in looks, I mean were good looking (I have evidence to prove in case someone asks us what did we see in each other).

Both of us consciously addressed each other using plural as mark of respect, as is the usage in Gujarati, adding 'behn' or 'bhai' to other's name, from that day 49 years back. Though I joked and compared my addressing her adding that suffix with Mahatma addressing his better half as 'Ba' meaning mother, the practice helped and has stood the test of time. We have never, even when no one is around, used insulting language at each other. We might have pulled each other's legs purely to add humour to life.

Both of us have been privileged, being eldest among siblings, extended, united, joint families included. I was granted that honour in spite of being younger to my sister, who was amongst the most adorably pious sole I have had in my life. This status provided that potential energy and position of vantage, younger ones in both families having shown respect not normally received in the era we belong to. Even at the cost of being called 'boastful' I would humbly say She helped us earn the respect we have lavishly enjoyed.

Though both of us were shy then, we were rule abiding and well behaved. I became aggressive in all respect with passage of time, she remained mostly docile, reactive and passive and not just tolerated me but supported me in all my otherwise uncommon decisions.

She made my house a home and gladly hosted major family functions. These events have made our stay memorable and have resulted in children of families insisting we retain the house as a heritage home.

She majored in psychology and did work with special children before moving over with us. Most unlike many qualified ladies she agreed to take on family responsibilities and did not insist for career. And she demonstrated how efficiently can family responsibilities be discharged, once you are committed to the same.

She has been an expert cook and invents recepies of her own to consume what may have been left over. Family members have appreciated her prowess and look forward to hearing from me about dishes she literally cooks up. Her mission is to feed all those who take trouble of visiting us.

She has been a nurse to elders during their illnesses, without bothering with her own frailty and discomforts. This home of hers has been a hospice for elders.

I did, as was mostly expected to, take decisions, which many youngsters did not readily agree with but silently resented, in the interest of maintaining harmony in families and protecting the younger ones from consequences otherwise, at a grave cost to Her health. She did not utter a word and helped me through challenging times.

I have confessions to make, not that I have shied away in the past from confessing.

• I perhaps have taken her consent in each of my decisions, for granted.
• I have been overly optimistic about her physical abilities to handle multiple tasks at a time.
• I might have underestimated her needs for appreciation of all that She has been doing or has done.
• I have at times ignored her need for respect from me on occasions.

I am otherwise able to manage emotions well and with age in my favour can handle rough times, but still seek her hand out  (which she normally keeps tightly under cover) at night when I am afraid of uncertain situation waiting for sun to rise. And confidence returns to me.

I pray She remains by my side and remains my source of courage and strength till such time as God wills us here!!!

PS: The time has flown since I jotted down my feelings and views. We completed 50 years of cohabitance yesterday. We jointly and severally behaved in  extremely predicatable lines during the losses family suffered and during the joyous almost tumultuous union of children of the family.

I thought of resharing the post with an update.