Thursday, 11 October 2018

Emotions, Feelings and Moods

I will be getting into my 73rd year, and as usual, was introspecting on an aspect which has always intrigued me.

I have observed, i can not express nor demonstrate certain emotions in specific settings. Like i have not been able to call my children, including nephews and nieces, as "Dikra", "Beta", "Child", "Sweetheart", "Love". All words signifying a whole lot of emotions which remain within me. I would not have cursed my self so much, had i been able to demonstrate these emotions by a "Hug", a "Peck", a "Kiss". It is not that i feel bad about my children having missed. I feel bad that i have missed. Surprising part is i can express and demonstrate the same emotions for all other children in my circle of influence.

I have also observed, appreciating immediate family members, including  immediate colleagues, for their achievements, good deeds, artistic performances, professional successes, is very difficult for me to express or demonstrate, though i may have felt that emotion and pleasure.

Is it too late now to undo? I wonder. Or my immediate kiths and kins have accepted me as i am and appreciate my predicaments and shortcomings obviating need to undo! I sincerely wish, they have understood me and have pardoned me. May be next time we meet. I will be always elder and a generation ahead. I promise, i will make good all the dues.

Today morning, starting from these emotions, my area of enquiry was what causes different emotions, facilitates or hinders expression and converts or thwarts converting, them into observable behavior and could i have overcome my shortcomings? I remembered an incidence.

I have had privilege to have access to expert  psychologists and psychotherapists. Once i was with couple of these experts and i remember to have asked them how emotions like love, hate, fear, etc are caused and if these are functions of physiological or biochemical activities within or products of any cognitive faculties. I was specific about change in emotions taking place over period of time and due to varying physical proximities. Hate getting converted to Love. Mistrust getting converted to Trust. And with this knowledge can we change our emotions and ways of expression.

They did mention there are studies and theories on these topics. I wished i could have explored those to enable me change myself. I would have got benefit of being a better person for 10 years now.

Today, i looked for information on "Emotions and Hormones" hypothesising that there is positive correlation between presence of specific hormones and feeling of specific emotions.

I came across this Wiki page:
https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Motivation_and_emotion/Book/2017/Hormones_and_emotion.

The page some how learnt my predicaments and had answers to many. Though this is a wiki page and not the ultimate knowledge on the subject, for a layman like me it was good beginning. The Plutchik's wheel of emotions is worth studying:


I intend to study this further, from multiple  perspectives, including linking emotions to motives and understanding and correcting behavior. Any co-traveller on that journey, is welcome and so are your comments.

7 comments:

  1. Anytime ready to travel with you...only those who know you (i consider myself as fortunate) know how genuine you are in expressing emotion and feelings. This is the quality i would like to imbibe from you as your Dikra...

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  2. What an honest confession ARM. Glad to see your expressions and awareness around it! You have your own descreet way to show affection and we understand.
    Wishing you many more years full of love and affection.

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  3. Eloquent & Exclusive !! Accepted & Respected as you are.

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  4. As always, you have presented your thoughts very precisely. I believe this may have to do with the generation gap. Our parents, at least my father, never expressed the feelings. However we never questioned his love, committments or devotion. So in a way I feel it is not a big idea to express the feelings. Those of us who are previllaged to know you, honestly feel your opinions are very genuine, your affection is real and you will never wish bad for anyone. So Atulbhai as you enter into your 73rd year, you truly have accomplished a lot and have shown your affection in your own way.

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