Thursday, 15 November 2018

Harmony: my true motivator


I alluded to a Gallup tool named “StrengthsFinder 2.0”, which is used to help one realize what are those talent themes which she/he uses more frequently and are seen as her/ his areas of strengths, in one of my missives some time back. I was trying to relate one of the top five themes identified by StregthsFinder 2.0 with my genes.

Gallup psychologists say these talents are innate and do not vary over a period of time. One may use them with varying frequency though. And this later part is my addition.

The report provided by Gallup in 2014 mentioned:

“Your Top 5 Themes
Learner
Achiever
Harmony
Input
Responsibility”

Whereas I could readily accept others, I hesitated in accepting “Harmony” as my talent and hence strength. Psychologist who counselled me tried to convince me that Harmony was a talent and that in some groups I was being seen as one trying to maintain harmony. I remember, I had agreed reluctantly.

The detailed report provided following explanation in relation to subject theme, and I quote:

“Harmony
Shared Theme Description
People who are especially talented in the Harmony theme look for consensus. They don’t enjoy conflict; rather, they seek areas of agreement.

Your Personalized Strengths Insights
What makes you stand out?
Chances are good that you periodically rely on the expertise of others to identify the proper solution, decision, or manoeuvre. Perhaps you feel a bit more sure of yourself when a specialist approves your plan before you start something. Once in a while, you hope one of them says, “You have made the best possible choice.” To some extent, you may trust them to be more knowledgeable than you are in certain situations. Instinctively, you may get people to like you by finding something everyone can agree on. Perhaps this is one way you reduce conflict between yourself and others. It’s very likely that you help keep the peace on your team by doing your share of each day’s assignments. You generally perform your tasks so no one in the group has to do chores you overlooked, ignored, or forgot. Because of your strengths, you perform today’s tasks and meet today’s challenges today. Because you refrain from putting things off, your own and others’ lives automatically become easier. No time, energy, or brainpower is wasted quarrelling, fussing, fuming, or blaming. By doing what is practical and feasible right now, you probably create a sense of calm and a spirit of cooperation within individuals or groups. Driven by your talents, you characteristically look for practical explanations to inform your thinking. Armed with this information, you can treat people, groups, programs, or budgets equally.”

I have been observing my behaviour in various groups and have been mindful of what other members have been conveying to me through multiple languages. Whereas I have, since that report, been more and more convinced that “Harmony” is my motivator and my behaviour is caused largely by that motivator, I have not found confirmation of that conclusion in the messages conveyed by many in my various social groups. And that has been my concern.

Time and again the self doubt about my talent of “Harmony” has come to fore and I have felt like going to that counsellor to help me out with most appropriate approach. But that Adult ego, has held me back.

The talent theme under question has been challenged more often in recent past and has again shaken me up. I find myself in such a storm which is not visible and is not touching most around me. I believe, I have failed miserably in retaining the image of being one who promotes “Harmony”.

I have not lost hopes though and have faith in my talent. I will overcome.

Gallup has provided some ideas for action, among many others and I quote:

“Ideas for Action:
  • When two people are arguing, ask others in the group to share their thoughts. By increasing the number of voices in the conversation, you are more likely to find areas where all parties can agree. You can draw people together.
  • Practice your techniques for resolving conflict without confrontation. Without these polished techniques, you might find yourself simply running away from conflicts, leaving them unresolved. This could lead you to passive-aggressive behavior.
  • Be aware that your attempts to create harmony by allowing everyone a turn to speak might actually create disharmony in some people. Individuals with exceptional Achiever talents, for example, may be anxious to make a decision and take action. Learn to briefly yet effectively communicate the value of listening.
  • Deference comes naturally for you. You easily step aside when someone with superior expertise enters. Take the next step by inviting those with greater expertise to consult.”


Let me try out. I will appreciate help in any way to help me practice my talent theme of “Harmony”.

1 comment: